


Undercover

by ritalara



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Season/Series 02, Season/Series 03, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 17:50:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 39,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15248658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ritalara/pseuds/ritalara
Summary: Simmons and Fitz went out to dinner. They talked a lot and decided they are better off as friends...or did they?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A Season 2 (into 3) canon divergent ‘secret dating’ story inspired by the ‘Fun Run’ episode of The Office (where Jim and Pam went out to dinner and months later everyone is trying to figure out if they are dating)
> 
> Simmons was not taken through the monolith. The monolith is locked up nice and tight. No monolith funny business!
> 
> Coulson, May, Daisy, Mack, Fitz, Simmons, Hunter & Bobbi are all on base - tracking Ward, Hydra, Inhumans & researching the Monolith. Mostly background plot - canon divergent.

**July 2015 - The Playground**

“Jemma, seriously - you have two PhDs and you got taken in by a spam email?”

It was a fairly typical day at The Playground, except for the fact that Daisy had been pulled away from Hydra research to help Simmons. She was hunched over her desk, working at her computer, as the Biologist perched behind her.

“It was innocuous! It was about a new exhibit at the National Cryptologic Museum that Fitz & I - well, these things are very sophisticated now...”

Daisy paused with a glance to Fitz’s empty desk at the mention of him and turned slowly back to Simmons.

“Where is Fitz by the way? He could have helped you run the antivirus program...of course I understand why you wanted to come to the expert,” she grinned.

“Oh - Hunter & May are on Hydra recon today and he's up in Coulson's office walking Hunter through setting up the tracker.”

Daisy clicked away, paying only half attention to the program running on Jemma’s screen while she continued her not-so-subtle line of questioning.

“So things seem to be - good... between the two of you? I mean it seems like you're back to normal? ...as much as any of us ever is...” Daisy added, clicking away “...back in to some of your old routine;, working together in the lab again, researching that monolith - having dinner together more often than not...?”

Daisy couldn't see her straight on but nearly felt Jemma's blush to her side.

 

~~~

_“Hey Simmons?”_

_“Yes Fitz?”_

_Jemma replied to his inquiry half-heartedly, not looking away from the readings she was getting off the monolith._

_“Are you, um - that is, do you think - are you about done in here?”_

_“Why - did you need something?”_

_“Oh I just - um - it's - uh, dinner?”_

_Fitz screwed up his face in anguish, grateful she still hadn’t turned to him._

_“What’s that?” she asked, barely registering._

_He walked closer to the monolith case, his hands wringing as he took a deep breath. He had waited too long and fought too hard to get here - he had to get the right words out._

_“Would you like to go eat dinner?” he asked, wincing as he almost shouted the words, desperate to get them out of his head and into the room._

_She glanced at him with confusion and back to the measurements._

_“Oh yes - I suppose I’ll find something in a bit - is Mack cooking, or -.”_

_“No - it's not -” he held his fingers to the bridge of his nose in a characteristic pinch “No. He’s - no... I thought, maybe - dinner, off base - yeah?”_

_“Oh, I’ll probably just eat something here - I’ll meet you in the kitchen if you like?” she glanced at him with a quick smile._

_He took a breath and held it._

_“No. I am asking about dinner - do you understand?”_

_He clenched his trembling hand in the other, near ready to shiver in to a pool of his own nerves._

_“No, I don't. You keep rambling on and on, and I still don't know what you mean,” Jemma answered, a hint of annoyance building._

_“Dinner,” he said more forcefully, stepping forward - a look of cautious hope in his eyes._

_“Fast approaching, yes, and we'll eat it, I'm sure,” she told him, matter of fact, still focused on the monolith._

_“Yeah, no, no, no - but, uh, me AND you ...”_

_Finally, Jemma looked up, if only to crinkle her eyes at him quizzically. He was clearly having trouble explaining something and she shifted focus with a caring curiosity._

_“Maybe we could eat somewhere else, you know?” he stepped farther toward her, leaning against the monolith case, “Somewhere... nice...”_

_She looked at him more squarely, his body tilted towards hers, and his eyebrows raised in question, and she recognized something not quite familiar but both exciting and comforting in his eyes. Her breath caught in her chest silently as she realized what he was really asking and now it was her that could barely get words out._

_“Oh.”_

_She nodded, her subconscious answering his question before she could truly verbalize her thoughts and Fitz was lost in her eyes. He began to lean more heavily against the latch of the monolith case and it snapped shut firmly, locking in to place. He was drawn out of his reverie and he looked down at the securely fastened lock._

_“Good,” he said, his eyes focused down at the tightly secured lock, “Okay,” he looked up and then back down swiftly, placing his eyes anywhere but towards her._

_A smile crept up Jemma’s face as he continued, her eyes full of delight_

_“Uh, well, y... uh, you should com find me when you're finished here,” he continued, swinging his arms in awkward joy, “and ... and I'll ... I'll start working on options to run by you... for - that.”_

_He turned back towards the door, almost chancing a glance back at her, but continued on towards the hall, straight ahead._

_Jemma watched him walk out, slightly dumbfounded, an enamored grin on her face and she walked back to the equipment cart in a daze, her cheeks beginning to hurt as she placed the item in her hands on the cart. She looked around to ensure she had picked up all the equipment and checked the case lock one more time before pushing the cart out of the room, turning off the lights, and enabling the lock & alarm on the door as she floated down the hall. _

~~~

 

Jemma paused, crafting an answer to Daisy’s question.

“We went out to dinner a few times, after things... settled down,” Jemma said with measure, “it was nice to get out and... we talked about... a lot of...things - worked through a lot of...it's really...nice... to be good friends again,” she finished, turning to her friend with a tight lipped smile.

Daisy smiled to herself as she continued the clean up.

“...well that's very...nice" she smirked.

___

A bit later, Daisy was in the kitchen with Mack & Bobbi - joined by Hunter, who had returned fairly empty handed from his mission and was sharing a beer with them as he recounted the details.

“May & I followed the dealer but he didn't make contact. Waste of a bloody day if you ask me,” he rolled his, eyes, the bottle to his lips.

“Not a waste,” Bobbi interjected, “with the tracker May placed we can follow him now and he'll make contact with Ward eventually.”

Hunter rubbed his palm against Bobbi’s back affectionately and gave her an agreeable smile.

“We’ll get him Bob."

The conversation paused while Hunter & Bobbi shared a moment and Daisy’s eyes wandered the common room - making their way across the hall to where FitzSimmons were still working in the lab.

“Okay, so what do we think is going on between those two?” Daisy remarked as she eyed the duo, taking a swig from her beer.

Mack cocked his head as he leaned against the fridge but said nothing.

“Are you kidding me? They are totally hooking up,” Hunter bemused.

“I know!” Daisy exclaimed, “All they do is smile. They’re just keeping it a secret...right?”

They all looked quizzically at Bobbi, who spent the most time with the two scientists nowadays.

“I don't know,” she shrugged.

“Come on,” urged Hunter

“There is no evidence of increased intimacy,” she informed factually.

Even Mack had to join in as all three of them looked at her doubtingly.

“...they’ve been in remarkably good moods...could be other things...”

The truth was she had been mentally calculating all of their interactions for weeks. It came second nature to her after all these years to track behavior patterns and watch for micro expressions. Someone would have to be pretty out of touch with reality not to notice how close the two of them had gotten, and from everything she knew she was happy to see them working well together - but she most certainly had her suspicions about the rest.

“Well I asked Simmons about it and she said they went to dinner a few times,” Daisy shared salaciously, taking another sip.

Mack was still silent, refusing to comment out of loyalty to his friend's privacy - but curious nonetheless.

“I bet they did. I mean look at them!” Hunter gestured “They're damned perfect for each other. Enough to make me sick, honestly. If they're not shaggin already I'll give you each $20...”

“Hunter,” Bobbi said sternly.

“I’ll give ya $50 if someone catches em in a snog.”

She glared.

“Alright, alright I think that's enough theories for the evening,” Mack chimed in.

Daisy laughed, winking at Hunter, mouthing ‘I’m in’.

___

The next day Hunter got a chance to do some digging of his own. He was seated next to Fitz at his desk while the two of them looked in to some further intel on the dealer they had been following, tracking the weapons he had been fencing in hopes of finding something tied to Hydra. They’d found some concrete information about an Italian restaurant in Chicago that was a well known mob front and Hunter took his opportunity to change the topic.

“Speaking of restaurants - whatever happened with you & Simmons and...dinner?”

 

~~~

_“I’m glad we found time to do this again,” Fitz said as he went to pull Jemma’s chair out for her._

_“Me too,” she said, thanking him with a gentle touch on his arm as she sat down._

_“I almost said we should go here the other night, but I wanted to - “_

_“Go somewhere nice,” she finished, a teasing smile._

_He had said as much multiple times that evening, to the point where it had become an inside joke in the days since - each of them smirking at each other any time someone uttered the word._

_“Well - I remembered when you took me here for spag bol after months in the hospital. It made me feel human again,” he continued, opening the menu and beginning to puruse it._

_“You complained the entire time,” she taunted gently, placing her napkin in her lap._ _  
_

_“Okay, a crappy human...sorry if I never thanked you for that,” he said, reaching out for her hand and then second guessing himself._

_Jemma smiled, but a small pain tinged inside her. She had taken him out for dinner around his birthday. She had planned to celebrate, but after a disaster evening it had been the thing that pushed her over the edge, the catalyst for her decision to leave. She wasn't sure how to voice that and she didn’t want to break the comfortable mood of the Italian restaurant, so she started with part of the truth._

_“I’m sorry I didn't consider then how hard it might be for you - being out in public.”_

_“It...was...” Fitz replied cautiously - he didn’t want to ruin the moment in the middle of what he hoped would eventually become one of their favorite restaurants._

_“But, after - when we got back to the base - I was glad we’d gone. The spaghetti was really good - and I remember you gave me your leftovers - eggplant parm. Never told you that I...the next day, when I went to eat it, I couldn’t remember what it was called, and I was worried the box wouldn't be labeled, or I’d take the wrong food from the fridge, but you had written - ‘For Fitz’. I never thanked you for that either.”_

_She clenched her jaw, fighting back tears as a mixture of affection and guilt washed over her. A part of her couldn’t believe she had ever left him. But another part still knew it had helped, helped him move past his reliance on her. Every memory like this of his recovery was bittersweet._

_He saw the look in her eyes and knew at least partially where her mind was headed._

_“Jemma, I didn’t mean to -”_

_“I’m sorry, I - “_

_“It's okay, I - we don't have to...let’s - later. Let’s talk about it later?”_

_She nodded._

_He summoned his courage and reached across the table to take her hand._

_She smiled._

~~~

 

Fitz knew it had somehow gotten around quickly that they’d gone out to dinner together and had been almost waiting for Hunter to ask about it.

“We had a nice time. Talked a lot. We’ve been talking a lot more and it's, it's nice to be good friends again...”

“Nice?” Hunter questioned.

“Yes,” Fitz said, fighting back a grin, wishing Jemma were there to enjoy the reference.

“Anything more than nice...dinner by candle light and all that?”

“We talked,” he reaffirmed, “As for...my... current... romantic life - if that’s what you’re gettin’ at - I am single...so, if you know anybody...”

There was something less than convincing about his statement. Hunter had never known Fitz to ask him to set him up. Would typically have abhorred the idea.

“Right mate,” Hunter slapped him on the back, “if I know anybody...” he finished pointedly, looking at Simmons as she walked in to the lab.

If he wasn’t mistaken, Fitz’s ears turned red as he hunched back over his computer.

___

Later it was Bobbi’s turn to continue her investigation, although she certainly wouldn’t be sharing any intel with Hunter & Daisy.

When she walked in to the lab after lunch FitzSimmons were in conversation, looking at something on his computer.

“It looks like an interesting exhibit, wouldn’t you say?” Simmons asked Fitz.

“We work for an international spy agency and you want to go learn more about Cryptology & the History of the NSA on your time off?”

“Well - yes, I find it interesting, is that so strange?”

Bobbi caught the smile on Fitz’s face even if Simmons didn’t.

Mack came through the lab as they continued scrolling through the website and asked casually,

“What are you looking at?”

“Oh I’m showing Fitz the exhibits at the National Cryptologic Museum. I discovered that they have some SSR items there - Peggy Carter was a renowned code breaker you know, before she founded SHIELD. Coulson & I are going to try to take a couple hours this weekend to go.”

Mack nodded, always able to appreciate varied interests.

“How about you Fitz - Bobbi - any plans this weekend?”

He was good, Bobbi thought to herself.

“Me?” Fitz asked, “I’ll be here - Professor Randall is sending over some texts that we think might be related to the Monolith - gonna to start looking into them so we can try and form some new hypotheses to test.”

“Oh that’ll be interesting,” Jemma enthused, “I’m looking forward to hearing more about it!”

Bobbi & Mack shared an almost imperceptible look and she fought her urge to tell Hunter she was joining his crusade.

 

~~~

_“So what’s, um, what’s the read on the monolith?” Fitz asked, his hands moving awkwardly as they walked out of the base._

_“Oh, very interesting so far,” Jemma answered, glad for something to talk about, “it certainly seems to be extraterrestrial - what I wouldn’t give for some biological material to test...”_

_Fitz smiled, a familiar warmth in his chest as she continued to talk about the readings. Normally he would join in, and he imagined once they got further along he would ask more questions, but, for the moment he was content to listen._

_He continued to move his hands, seemingly unsure what to do with them as they walked the few blocks to the restaurant, and he barely noticed as Jemma curved her hand in to his elbow until she had taken his arm._

_She made eye contact with him briefly, a questioning smile, and he laid his hand gently over hers for a moment in answer._

_She held his arm the rest of the way._

_~~~_

 

Later that night, Bobbi & Daisy were in the kitchen again, joined by Hunter as well - looking over the report from their latest field trip.

Fitz entered and waited for a pause in the conversation.

“What’s up Fitz?” Daisy greeted him.

“Hey, I came to let you know that all the files from Afterlife have come in and we’re going to start looking them over in the morning”

“Who’s we?” Daisy asked - a bit too suspiciously

Fitz gave a peculiar look.

“So far it's me & Mack - I was going to ask Simmons and -

“I bet you were,” Hunter added.

Bobbi nudged him in the ribs, quite obviously.

“...and Daisy - I thought you might want to help us.”

She raised her eyebrows at Hunter and her lips quirked,

“I’ll be there.”

___  


The next day, Fitz, Simmons, Bobbi & Daisy were in one of the vaults, going through all the files that Mack had helped them haul in there and Simmons was perusing a notebook.

“Oh, look what I found!”

She seemed to have uncovered a ledger of sorts; names of current or potential inhumans - the exact type of thing they had been hoping to find.

“Do you know what this means?” she said to Daisy, in particular, “If we can find all of these people, we can reach out to them, offer help, with their transitions or their powers.”

Daisy listened to her with a friendly smile. Simmons had really come to terms with what she had once referred to as a ‘plague’ - seeking now to help inhuman citizens, worried about those who might frightened, and equally eager to keep them and the people around them safe.

“We can start searching right away and send you out with a field team to help them!”

Bobbi smiled too, but neither her or Daisy’s expressions matched Fitz’s. He was fixed on her with a look of affection that made them both almost uncomfortable. Daisy made eye contact with her, immediately trying to mask her own growing grin.

Simmons was oblivious, still elated by her discovery.

“I’m going to go start researching, see if we can find anyone.”

“I’ll help you with that,” Fitz said, still looking at her with a mild daze, stumbling as he got up to follow her.

Neither Bobbi or Daisy said anything as the scientists left the room but as the door closed, Daisy said to the other agent,

“You’re gonna owe Hunter $20.”

 

~~~

_“Twenty bloody dollars,” Fitz blanched under his breath, as they passed the valet parking sign._

_“Rubbish,” he & Jemma both added. _

_The looked at each other with a smile and she laughed as he grinned bigger._

_“Do you remember the first time we finished each other’s-”_

_“Sentences?” she giggled_

_“Yeah - in -”_

_“ - chem lab - after you nearly blew up that - “_

_“I did not BLOW anything up.”_

_“NEARLY I said.”_

_He found a parking spot on the street and continued talking as he got out of the car,_

_“Simmons, you know as well as I do that I did not leave that bunsen burner on,” he reminded her, as he trotted around the front of the car._

_He held his hand out, taking hers as she stepped out the passenger side._

_“Well SOMEONE did,” she said, squeezing his hand, and not letting go as they headed down the sidewalk._

_He squeezed hers back as he smiled._

~~~

 

Three days later Daisy was back in the lab with Simmons, having returned from the field with a sample from a potential Inhuman. She hovered while Jemma looked at it, eager to see if they could identify the individual or their powers.

“Fascinating,” Jemma muttered, eyeing the sample under her microscope.

She leaned up, jotting down a couple notes, and turned to Daisy.

“I’ll run a full DNA analysis, but it definitely appears this blood belongs to someone enhanced or powered - there seems to be some sort of...chameleon like property to their cells. It's likely you didn’t find the person because they were able to disguise themselves.”

Daisy nodded, eyes wide, and removed her gauntlets, unzipping her sleeves as she relaxed in the chair.

“How are you?” her friend asked, “It can’t be easy running around so much looking for people. I’m quite exhausted and I spend all my time in the lab.”  
  
“I’m fine,” Daisy commented.

“...would feel better if Lincoln would come in though,” she sighed. “I know he doesn’t agree with what we’re doing here but I know if he saw...if he came and talked to you and Coulson, he’d understand.”

“That we’re trying to help people, yes, I agree.” Simmons said.

“I get why he doesn’t trust SHIELD, but, I just - I worry about him - out there, where anyone could...”

Jemma touched her hand gently.

“It's very understandable...I know you...care - about him. I’d be worried too...when Fitz was out in the field with Coulson & Hunter, I...”

She stopped herself.

Daisy tried to cover her expression as her mood shifted, and she spoke authentically, forgetting for a moment the whole silly mission with Hunter.

“Jemma - if you and Fitz, I mean, if things have become ...more... between the two of you, that’s -”

 

~~~

_“A dress?” Jemma asked, repeating Fitz’s question._

_“Yeah, I...I’m gonna wear a suit...”_

_He was telling her (quietly) about where they’d be going for dinner that evening and had suggested she wear a dress._

_“A suit?”_

_She turned to him and eyed him up and down. He was dressed in jeans and sneakers, with a slightly rumpled grey blue button up - untucked. The weather had warmed and he had been sans cardigan for a few days._

_As much as Jemma liked the cardigan, Fitz in a few less layers enabled her to enjoy his shape a bit more and she admonished herself as her mind started to reel._

_This evening was a milestone and Fitz had set a reservation at a French restaurant way out of his price range. It was even nicer than the bistro they had gone to for their first dinner and he was looking forward to doing something special to mark the occasion._

_Jemma bit her bottom lip, trying to keep herself from eyeing him again and nodded,_

_“A dress then.”_

_~~~_

 

“I told you I’m not dating anyone,” she shut Daisy down,” - and even if I was I don’t think it’s anyone’s business...”

She stood straight, clearly upset, and turned back to her computer.

Daisy stood there for a moment, worried she had crossed a line. She opened her mouth to apologize and Jemma turned back to her, her expression softened.

“Trust me,” she said with a layered smile, “when I fall in love, you’ll know.”

___

Later in the evening Hunter swung by the lab. He had all but given up on his mission to drag the truth out about FitzSimmons. It had been a few days of he and Daisy sharing anecdotes, and really, several weeks that he’d been angling to ferret the goods out of someone. In fact, he was still fairly sure Bobbi knew more than she was letting on. He figured she’d be wrapping up with the gun ballistics she’d been testing and planned to see what she might like to do for dinner, but as he turned the corner, he stopped dead to watch the scene that was playing out in front of him.

Simmons had clearly finished for the day, tidying up her desk and tucking in her chair as she looked over to Fitz’s desk. It was getting late and he was the last person in the lab, hunched over his desk eyeing the tech May & him had brought back from their most recent Hydra search.

“I’m heading out Fitz, have a good night,” Simmons said simply, probably the way she had done a hundred times.

“G’night Simmons” Fitz waved behind himself, not turning to look at her as she walked out.

 

~~~

_“Goodnight Jemma,” Fitz said, his breath heavy as he looked at her - eyes piercing, heavy, dilated._

_“Goodnight Fitz,” she sighed, unable to tear herself from his gaze, “thank you for dinner,” she whispered, “and for letting me pay this time.”_

_He smirked, still lost in her eyes, his hand pressed against the wall outside her bunk, his body close to hers but not quite touching._

_“Suppose we could start going dutch - or maybe -”_

_“Take turns?” she suggested._

_He nodded._

_“But you have to let me get next time, you paid the first two times.”_

_He shook his head._

_“First time I asked you to dinner, that was my treat.”_

_She started to protest, but thought better of it._

_“I suppose our second dinner was a mutual agreement - same with tonight,” she smiled._

_Her hand ached to run up his chest, curve around his collar, pull his neck toward her and..._

_“FitzSimmons?”_

_They jumped apart as Mack came down the hall_

_“Good - you’re up - we just got in - Daisy thinks she might have found Lincoln - we need some help.”_

~~~

 

A presence behind him startled Hunter as Mack spoke.

“Leaving separately,” he noted, nodding to the scientist as she headed down the hall.

Hunter sighed and saw Bobbi as she came around the other end of the hall, greeting Simmons silently.

“Well, I guess if they’re not together now they probably never will be...”

___

Later that evening after he and Bobbi returned from dinner, Hunter sent her off to their room and was stopping at the kitchen to grab some water, when he was again stopped short by a sight in the lab. Fitz had clearly continued working and was finally just packing up his things. Maybe it was his stubborn nature or the beers he’d had a dinner, but the bawdy Brit was bound and determined to ferret out what he was sure was a fairly brilliant undercover act by his two favorite scientists.

He made a split decision to follow Fitz, and as soon as his friend was out of sight, he bee-lined down the other end of the hall, knowing he could catch him on his way to the bunks if he went around the opposite side of the corridor. Two minutes later Hunter was panting (for a spy he really didn't have a lot of endurance, he thought to himself) as he edged around the corner of a hallway.

He watched from the shadows as Fitz walked past Simmons, Mack, & Daisy’s rooms to his own and he felt a bit of disappointment as the engineer went unsuspiciously to his own bunk.

“What a waste,” the mercenary muttered under his breath, as he realized it was time to give up the goat and go join Bobbi.

As he made to step toward the other corridor of the living quarters, Fitz’s door started to open, the spritely Scot inching his head out surreptitiously. Hunter edged back behind the curve of the corner again - with only his peripheral vision to guide what was happening - and watched as Fitz walked two doors down to Simmons’ room at the other end of the hall.

Fitz had changed his shirt and dropped off a case he had been carrying. Hunter chanced a slight move forward to see better and his jaw dropped as the scene unfolded. Fitz’s ear was pressed to her door for a moment and then he pressed a code in to the keypad and cringed slightly at the beep as he opened the door just enough to get in.

Hunter was dumbfounded.

Had he really just seen that? He looked around hoping somehow someone else had been there to witness it. He had half a mind to creep down to Jemma’s room and press his ear against the door. Of course that was far beyond...but maybe it wouldn’t be completely unheard of for him to go kip for a few hours and get up early, set himself a little stake out to see when Fitz would come out of her room...

Suddenly his train of thought changed...

How long had this been going on? And right under Daisy & Mack’s nose! True, Jemma’s room was on the corner end of the hall with only Mack’s sharing a wall and he knew that Mack was a deep sleeper - like a baby almost. The minute his head hit the pillow he was down for the count.

Daisy wasn’t though - she, Fitz & Hunter where the night owls of the bunch, with May, Bobbi & Jemma the early birds (who knew when Coulson ever slept...) Daisy was especially well known for her nighttime wanderings around the base. How had she missed this? How had she never caught them?

He HAD to go tell Bobbi EVERYTHING.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How long have Fitz & Simmons been sneaking around?

**July 2015 - The Playground**

 

As Fitz slipped in to Jemma’s room, she looked up at him with a smile but he was forlorn.

“I think Hunter knows."

Her face fell and she let out a somber laugh.

“I think Daisy knows.”

Fitz flopped onto his back at the foot of the bed, his arm over his face and he groaned.

Jemma smiled.

“It was me,” he said, “Hunter asked me about us going to dinner and I told him he should set me up with someone.”

“Oh really?” she bemused, poking at his leg with her toe.

He turned to his side, propping himself up on his elbow and looked at her, disappointed.

“He saw right through me...I think I actually said ‘I am single and looking’,” he grimaced.

She laughed again and wiggled her toes at his side. He reached down, grabbing her foot, and she continued,

“It might have been me, I was very unconvincing with Daisy. She asked me quite frankly if there was something more than friends between us and I...”

Jemma trailed off.

“Fitz I don’t think we can keep this a secret anymore.”

He paused. They had been through this more than once...and it had been her idea initially to keep their relationship private. She had reasoned, and Fitz had agreed. They both knew that they would tell the others eventually but they wanted to remain discreet for now.

“Are you...are you sure? We’ve gone to a lot of trouble...”

He had been going to Jemma’s room almost every night for weeks and it had taken several days to time things well.

If Jemma followed her normal routine and headed to her bunk before 9 each night, Mack was usually in bed by 10 and out like a light shortly thereafter. Daisy was never in her room before 11pm so that window was key. If Fitz missed it he knew it would be nearly impossible to sneak from his room to Jemma’s past Daisy’s door without her noticing. She was a light sleeper, when she slept at all, and often wandered around the based around 2 or 3 am if she really couldn't nod off. Avoiding Hunter in the evening was always the biggest risk. If he wasn't spending the night with Bobbi, Hunter often wanted to play FIFA until all hours of the morning. An activity Fitz would have been happy to oblige if he didn't have something much more lovely waiting for him.

Occasionally he would ask himself if all the sneaking around was worth it and then he’d think wistfully about the quiet nights in Jemma’s room, just the two of them. Tonight was such a night. Even though they were probably about to have a serious conversation, Fitz’s mood was already pleased as punch to be with her, relaxed on her bed. Even massaging her feet gave him a smile.

“Yes, I’m sure. Even if...even if our teammates weren’t starting to catch on, it’s time.”

This routine had begun after their second night together. It was the first time Fitz had snuck to her room, and, he hadn’t slept in his own bed since.

_~~~_

  


_When they got to La Chaumiere - Fitz in a grey suit with a dark navy tie, and Jemma in a green floral dress - she admonished him a bit. Jemma knew this was going to be an expensive meal._

_“Fitz,” she said, her intonation clear, as the host walked away after seating them._

_“Don't make a fuss. I wanted to take you somewhere nice.”_

_She opened her mouth to finish his sentence or argue and the candlelight caught his face. It had been a long time since she’d seen him in a tie, and, as usual, anything blue brought out his eyes. She thought of what it had been like to look closely into those eyes in the ambient light of his bedroom a couple nights prior, and she clenched her thighs together at the consideration of how she might get him back in to a bedroom, and pull him to mouth with that tie._

_Fitz noticed her gaze deepen and he couldn’t take his eyes away from her. Her hair was up and back in a twist, exposing her neck and shoulders and it was difficult to look away from what he now knew was impossibly soft skin. The emerald green of her v-neck dress was especially beautiful against her alabaster complexion and he found himself desperate to kiss her. To touch her. To perhaps have another blissful evening in one of their beds._

_The rest of the meal followed suit, the two of them uncharacteristically quiet as they spent the majority of the evening gazing at each other like lovesick teenagers. Fitz took the whole night looking at her like she was made of stars and Jemma struggled to go more than two minutes without smiling like she knew what he looked like naked._

_They both hoped they’d end back up in one of their rooms shortly but Agent May cut them off, calling on their way home from dinner. Mack & Daisy were on their way in with a new inhuman asset - and they were needed to ready one of the quarantine rooms. So they hurried back and, as had become custom, Fitz took a back entrance into the base while Jemma went a safer route. They both donned more appropriate clothes quickly before meeting back in the quarantine corridor to ready the space. _

_Fitz found himself almost disappointed at the sweater and jeans Jemma had changed in to, missing the view of her lovely and perfect cleavage. But he smiled when he noticed she still had on the emerald earrings she had worn that brought out the flecks of green in her hazel eyes._

_Jemma was perhaps even more amped up. Fitz had changed into jeans and his same short sleeve button up he had been wearing earlier in the day, having thrown on a simple grey cardigan over it - and there was something about him in that kind of outfit that made her feel...at home. A fleeting thought crossed her mind of the two of them back on her couch in their Sci Ops days, watching television, and she wondered what it would be like to have her own space again - a space to share with him. She imagined them on the couch, his arms around her, his mouth on her throat, her legs around -_

_“Simmons, ” Fitz repeated_

_She looked up from what she had been doing and he tried to hide his grin. After having spent the night catching each other in various sultry gazes and far-off looks he was pretty sure he knew what she was thinking about._

_“I’m done programmin’ the composite sensors - do you want to check the biometric readings?”_

_“Oh, yes, of course.”_

_She walked over to where he stood with his tablet and peered over his shoulder._

_It was agony._

_They had only slept together once and it had not been that many days ago, but she wanted him again - quite badly, apparently. How in the queen’s kingdom were they going to keep things...restrained...now that sex was a part of their relationship?_ _She had thought about it of course, early in to their dinners, and probably before that really. It had been then that she knew she wanted to have sex with him. So after a significant make out session, on the way back home, she had considered how that would change their...dynamic...and had decided, like all the other new parts of their relationship, they would simply have to talk about it and figure it out._ _But now that they were on the other side of their first time - it was almost the only thing she could think about. Especially as she stood next to him. The warmth of his body and the scent of him invading her space. The data she was looking at was simple and she could barely gather if it was correct._

_Fitz was suffering as well._

_He could smell her ... her hair or her perfume or her natural scent he wasn’t sure. He was familiar with the smell after so many years side by side but there was something new to it, something, extra. He knew rightly that it was pheromones, but the logic didn’t stop him from being affected._ _The longer she stood there next to him the more he ached to lay his lips on her throat, wrap his arm around her waist, press his chest against hers. She was stood slightly in front of him, looking at the bio-metric readings of the room for what seemed longer than necessary, and his eyes became focused on the fine hairs on the back of her neck._

 _He reached up, possessed, and stroked his thumb across her nape._ _Jemma jumped and his eyes widened in fear, surprise, and apology at his own actions._

_“I’m finished.”_

_She looked down as she left the room and Fitz froze for a moment before going after her, running in to May in the hall. He stopped abruptly and May clocked something off but said nothing, instead, giving him orders in to her most official state of speak._

_“Agent Fitz - Agents Johnson & Mackenzie are landing, they’ll be sending the pod in any minute. I’ll need you to monitor the intake to ensure the asset is contained before we close down the base for the evening.” _

_Fitz nodded without another word and stayed rooted in his spot as May walked away. He stood there, guilt ridden, waiting for Mack, Daisy, or the containment pod to appear._

_He couldn’t believe he had betrayed her trust like that. It had been completely unintentional, but he knew how important it was to Jemma to keep things - separate. He felt the same way - to an extent - and everything had been fine for the last four weeks._

_They’d gone out - each excuse to leave the base more flimsy than the last - a few times and in all the days between he’d been polite, professional, respectful. He’d certainly smiled a lot more during their days in the lab, but otherwise he felt he’d been a stand up gentleman. Not letting on that anything romantic was going on between them, and keeping his hands to himself._

_But apparently one night together had turned him into a raging lothario and now he had gone and mucked the whole thing up. He imagined Jemma in her room, embarrassed, upset, angry - and wondered if she would even accept an apology. After everything they had come back from - the last thing he wanted was an argument with her._

_His attentions were pulled when he heard the pod begin to lower inside the room and he stood alert, waiting for Mack & Daisy to join. _

_It didn’t take much time to get Joey Gutierrez situated. He was slightly agitated but Daisy told Fitz he had calmed down quite a bit on the Zephyr and needed answers, needed help._

_Daisy set up camp in one of the rooms next Joey in order to keep an eye on him and he and Mack made their way back to their rooms. Fitz itched to go talk to Jemma, but it was late. He knew it wouldn't have been out of ordinary in the past for either of them to be in each other’s rooms, but as long as they had been at the Playground that had not been true. Not like the Bus. He realized how much new territory their relationship had covered since coming to the new base and his desire to see her, to talk to her, was even stronger._

_So he waited. He went in to his room and paced, even considered texting her - or calling - but he wasn’t totally sure what he wanted to say. He wanted to apologize - he knew that much. Wanted to say that he was sorry for touching her, without permission, and in a work setting. He wanted to tell her what a lovely time he’d had at dinner, how beautiful she looked and how he pictured himself eating every meal across from her for the rest of his life._

_He groaned out loud at his own internal monologue and a familiar sensation swept over him. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, thankfully to an empty room_

_He couldn't wait any longer._

_Fitz moved quietly as he stepped out of his door, holding his breath as he tiptoed down the hall in his socked feet. He could hear Mack’s snoring and almost breathed a sigh of relief. He realized as he got to the door that he had two options - unlock it himself and risk scaring or upsetting her further, or knock and risk someone hearing. Not wanting to damage any more trust, he knocked lightly, a familiar sequence, and waited._

_The moments ticked by and he rapped the pattern again, a tidge louder, when the door cracked open, and he slid through the gap in to her darkened room. As his eyes adjusted, the only luminosity from the night light in the bathroom, he heard the door click behind him and saw Jemma’s silhouette._

_“Jemma, I’m - “_

_He was interrupted by her mouth against his, as her frame bumped him back towards the bed. The back of his knees hit the edge as he caught her and tried to get his bearings. She stood firm in front of him, her hands snaked around his neck, pulling his face to hers and pressed her mouth to his solidly. She opened it just enough to take in a breath and started to blitz him with her lips, kissing at him fiercely. If he wasn’t quite so taken aback, Fitz imagined he might enjoy this in another setting, but his senses were overloaded, barely able to see as she pounced him._

_“Jemma,” he breathed in mild protest._

_She took it differently, and moved her tongue between his lips. He put his hands on her arms, not pushing her away, but stopping her where she stood, and yanked his head back._

_“Jemma, stop.”_

_Her eyes popped open and her hands fell to his shoulders._

_“Oh my...I’m so sorry”_

_Her arms dropped and she buried her face in her hands._

_“What? No...I - I came to apologize.”_

_He brought his hands up to her forearms and squinted, trying to see her face._

_“No Fitz, I should apologize, I ran out of there and didn't even give us a chance to talk. Don’t get me wrong I wish you hadn’t...well - that’s not entirely... Fitz I had to leave, I was embarrassed, I...when you touched me, I...”_

_Jemma closed her eyes, thinking back to that moment, that split second of absolutely unexpected and overwhelming aphrodisia._

_He could feel the heavy air in the room from their labored breathing and shared tension._

_She exhaled._

_“It felt unbelievable.”_

_He was stunned. He had expected to grovel, to beg her not to throw him out of the room. He had thought she had been put off by him, but really, she was turned on. Apparently very turned on - so turned on that she had jumped him the minute he walked into the room._

_He didn't quite know what to do, but, perhaps..._

_“Jemma, do you trust me?” he asked, his heart pounding through his veins._

_“Of course.”_

_The way she said it without question sent warring sensations through is body - ease, lust, excitement, eagerness, affection, and...something stronger._

_He chewed at his bottom lip and he ran his hands shakily up her bare arms._

_“Turn around,” he said, guiding her with his hands._

_She moved at his instruction and felt him behind her, realizing what he was going to do._

_His hands ran up her arms again - up and down her biceps, her forearms, then gently across her hands to the tips of her fingertips. He took a half step forward and she could feel his chest against her back in his crew neck cotton t-shirt._

_When his breath came out his nose and across the back of her neck she breathed in sharply - and felt his hands tense for a moment.  He had started to pull them back and she just barely felt his arm behind her, moving up, until his fingers swept delicately across her neck and she let out an almost silent sigh. He danced the fingers of his right hand across the nape of her neck, through faint wisps of brown hair, and pressed his back against her as he leaned his face down, his left hand sliding around her waist, pulling her towards him._

_Her body was rooted to its place, waiting for what she knew was next, and as his lips fell slowly to the spot right below her hairline she shuddered. Fitz moaned out a breath on to her skin and she whimpered._

_They were both overcome._

_Jemma had no idea this was such a turn on for her. She had not been with many men - very few repeatedly - and none like this. Fitz had possibly less experience than she did and had never dated anyone particularly long term._

_Their first time had been wonderful, but now that they had christened this act in their relationship she found herself eager to explore all the things she didn’t even know she might enjoy. She moved her right hand back behind his neck and held him against her as he continued pressing his lips in a gentle pattern down to her shoulders - and Fitz backed up towards the bed, his legs firm on the edge behind him, as he pulled her closer, his arm possessive around her waist._

_She continued soft moans of sensitive pleasure with each placement of his lips, and when he slipped his tongue out against the curve between her neck and her shoulder a sharp, shocking wave of pleasure hit her._

_He was in heaven. This was the only possibility. He had died somewhere in the hallway and this was the afterlife. The dark and sensual confines of Jemma’s bedroom were his mecca and the heavens had seen fit to let him spend eternity with his lips and his tongue bringing noises like that out of her._

_He smiled against her shoulder, kissing it, and, emboldened by her pleasure, reached his hand up to move the strap of her tank top, pushing it aside where it fell down her arm. She leaned her neck away, giving him ample space and he continued, finding a cluster of freckles that he remembered from their first night._

_It had been much lighter in his room that evening, but, here, in the near pitch black, the sensations were different. Each movement was delectable, each noise was unique. He kissed across her shoulder and bared his teeth, scraping them across her unmarred skin._

_Jemma thrust back, choking out a squeal, and Fitz fell on the bed, her following on top of him and he wrapped both arms around her, holding her in his lap. He realized briefly that she was in cotton pajama shorts, and he fought the urge to run his hands up her thighs, staying focused on her top half._

_He ran his nose across her back between her shoulder blades and Jemma rewarded him with another high pitched sigh. He kissed up her shoulder blade and nudged her other strap, moving it off her left shoulder, then ran his tongue back across the same path, eliciting a heavier moan. He could do this all night._

_Fitz’s mouth continued in various patterns across the top of her back, her neck, her shoulders, and Jemma’s thighs began to burn as blood rushed to her center. She reached down to his hands around her waist and guided them gently back, loosening his grip, shifting herself so she was sitting mostly on one leg. She spread her legs, straddling his thigh and moaned lightly at the welcome pressure on her groin._

_Fitz took notice and held her steady across her stomach with one forearm, bringing his other hand to her thigh as he moved his mouth up the side of her throat. When he found a particularly sensitive spot right behind her earlobe she clenched and saddled forward, both her hands on his knee as she rocked in to his thigh._

_He groaned in to her neck as her backside shifted across his member where it was rested inside his jeans against his leg and he pressed his palm against her flesh while the reverberation of his voice in her ear struck her forward again. The position she was in put pressure on both of their most sensitive spots and Fitz was incentivized to keep her oscillating. He ran his tongue up her spine from the middle of her back to her hairline as he began undulating against her, finding a rhythm that countered hers. He wasn’t sure about her but he was fairly certain he was going to cum in pants and that was just going to be that._

_Jemma leaned forward slightly, and he went with her, holding her tight as he pressed every bit of himself that he could against her, his mouth becoming wet and clumsy on her neck.  He tried to focus, remembering where this pleasure had started for her and he skimmed his teeth across the side of her throat. When he came to her earlobe, nipping at it, she almost screamed, throwing her head back and spreading her legs, yanking his hand into her shorts. He paused, but only for a brief second, bouncing back quickly as he pressed the pads of his two fingers firmly against her nub on top of her underwear._

_They had gone pretty swiftly to intercouse earlier that week, and while he had no complaints, Fitz realized this was the first time he was touching her like this. It drove him further and he realized how close he was to his orgasm. He slowed his ridging against her and refocused on his swiftly sweeping fingers. He felt Jemma tense, her hands pressed against the mattress on either side of him, and her head back against his shoulder, giving him more real estate to kiss, lick, and suckle at at. Once he got in to a successful circular pattern, she followed, beginning to rotate her rear against him and Fitz’s forehead settled against her neck, his breathing heavy against her collarbone._

_The room was silent but for their illicit noises and nowhere in either of their heads was there room to consider if someone could hear them. As they both seared toward completion, Jemma whimpered in to the air, then Fitz moaned in to her shoulder as they each came._

_They relaxed onto each other, their counter weight keeping the other aloft, and Fitz squeezed Jemma around the waist as he kissed her shoulder gently, adoringly. She ran her hand up the back of his neck again, in to his shorter curls, and turned her head against his neck, kissing wherever she could reach._

_They sat there for a moment, neither particularly comfortable, and eventually Jemma had to be the first to move, standing up, putting her weight on Fitz’s thigh to press her self off his lap. He hissed as contact pulled from his crotch and she turned around._

_“Sorry,” she whispered._

_“S’okay, do you mind if I-” Fitz popped the button of his jeans and she shook her head._

_“No, of course not...actually...” her mood seemed to shift and she tucked a stray hair behind her ear, a nervous habit._

_“Do you want...to get comfortable, and...stay the night?”_

_As Fitz unzipped his jeans, he froze. He had been wrong before._ **_This_ ** _was the best night of his life._

_When they had been together the first time Jemma had lingered in his room for a while, but not long enough as far as he was concerned. They had both fought the urge to fall asleep, holding each other, and she had snuck back to her room early, sometime before dawn._

_But tonight, she wanted him to stay._

_“But what about -”_

_“I have been taking notes for the past few days, if you are up and back to your room by 7 you should miss everyone...I’ll be right back.”_

_She kissed him briefly and went to use the facilities, while Fitz shed his jeans and socks.. He needed to do the same once she returned. When she opened the door to the bathroom, the light was bright and he stood up to trade places with her. He finally got a full, lighted view of her and he couldn’t contain his smile. Her hair was pulled back low on her neck now, and her face was bare. She had been wearing makeup for their date and had looked beautiful - her eyes dark and her lips and cheeks rosy. But there was a different kind of fairness to her natural face. Her eyes were soft, her freckles showed and the light coral of her mouth was perfect._

_He revered her._

_Jemma smiled at Fitz. Between his rumpled hair, t-shirt, and boxers, he was the sight of domestic adoration that she had pictured earlier. She couldn’t wait to be in bed with him, wrapped in his arms, falling asleep to the sound of his breathing._

_She cherished him._

_They grinned at each other as he stepped toward the bathroom, and she moved aside to allow him in. He stopped in front of her, looking at her - absolutely smitten - and she smiled bigger, if it was possible._

_“You’re amazing.”_

_Perhaps it was possible._

_She reached up to hug him and he pulled her in close, almost swaying as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He realized how strongly he felt for her. How different it was now that his affections were returned, now that they were falling..._

_He pulled back and shook out of his own thoughts, kissed her softly, then regrettably pulled apart. He really did need the loo._

_“Meet you in bed?” he asked._

_She gave him a killer smile and nodded._

_Fitz was back out in two shakes and as he flicked the bathroom light off he realized Jemma had turned on her lamp. It was fairly late and he knew she must be tired with how early she typically got up. He walked toward the bed and was about to tell her they could turn off the light and go to sleep when he realized._

_“Hey - what did you mean you’ve been taking notes for days on everyone’s schedule?”_

_“Oh, I’ve been getting up early - pretended there was a solar event I was monitoring.”_

_“Just so you could keep track of everyone’s schedule?”_

_He slipped under the covers next to her and they both rolled to their sides, his arm draping over her, as she continued,_

_“It was very informative. May is up first at 5 and does tai chi in the morning. Bobbi is up closer to 6 and they’re usually both done in the gym by the time I go to workout at 6:30. Mack goes to the gym at 7:45 and I usually see him when I am leaving my room after I get ready, to be at the lab by 8,” she informed._

_“Daisy’s the outlier,” Jemma continued, “Sometimes she’s up before everyone but I think that’s when she hasn’t slept - I can tell because she usually crashes early those days. Otherwise she’s typically leaving her room about the same time as you - right before the 9 am briefing.”_

_“Wow.”_

_He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised to know how much was going in the morning while he typically slept, but it made him feel a bit unproductive by comparison. He reasoned to himself that while most of them were winding down in the evening he was hard at work doing things like building robot hands - he supposed he wasn't a complete loaf._

_“So you started monitoring everyone’s schedule so we could...”_

_She smiled shyly, scooting forward, close enough that they were sharing a pillow, and his grasped tightened, his hand on her back._

_“I knew that we were headed in this direction so I thought I’d start preparing. The first time wasn’t quite planned so I wasn’t ready to spend the night, but now we can do this every night...or - whenever we mutually agree that we’d like too. You’ll have to come to my room though...if you don’t mind. Just in case if anyone sees you late at night they wouldn’t be too surprised, and early in the morning, like I said, I’m the only one in this corridor that’s up before 7.”_

_Fitz imagined the last part of her sentence had some helpful information but he missed most of it. She wanted him to come to her room every night._

_“You planned all of this so I could...so we could be together...every, every night if we want to?”_

_“Of course.”_

_He had no words._

_Fitz pressed his mouth against hers with feeling, pulling her in to him like she was the most precious thing in the world. Jemma leaned against him, kissing back fondly, and she obliged warmly as his tongue found hers. They kissed tenderly, ardently, for quite a while, until they both needed a breather._

_Fitz fell to his back, pulling her to his chest and Jemma made herself a nest in the crook of his arm. It was perfect. He reached over to turn off the lamp, kissing her head as he came back._

_“7 am you say?”_

_“My alarm goes off at 6.”_

_“Worth it,” he smiled._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: 
> 
> La Chaumiere is a real restaurant in Arlington, Virginia (where I head canon The Playground to be - right outside Washington DC). It was the first restaurant that popped up from a quick search and I plugged it in to the fic - then became curious to know what that means and...
> 
> THE COTTAGE


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FitzSimmons discuss going public with their relationship.

**July 2015 - The Playground**

“So, where should we start?” he asked, sitting up and kicking off his shoes.

His tone was nonchalant as he inquired, but his stomach had begun to knot.

“I always figured we’d tell Coulson first. I know it's not like when SHIELD was official, but something felt right about, well - remember when we talked about it?”

He began unbuttoning his shirt and stopped. They had talked about a lot of things that night. He considered that evening under the stars as a defining moment of their relationship.

“Yes...about - about, when we were ready, we’d talk to Coulson - ask him if he wanted to us to sign any paperwork.”

He sat back down on the bed, now in his slacks and t-shirt, and leaned back against the headboard, pulling her legs across his lap, running a hand across her calf.

“So do you think we’re ready for that - paperwork?”

~~~

 _After dinner, they took a car and some blankets out to a park 30 miles from the city. It was late and the spring air had chilled in the dark of the night, so they were glad to have some comfier clothes on, having picked a slightly more relaxed place for their latest meal._ _They spread out the blankets and retrieved their thermos of tea and Fitz positioned them well against a large oak that they were able to lean up against, side by side, warmed by each other’s extremities, with the tea nestled between them providing further heat._

 _As they got situated, Jemma began pointing out the constellations. She knew Fitz knew most of them, certainly not as well as she did, but she also knew he liked to hear her talk about the stars. That much had been true since their academy days. She had often encouraged them to go stargazing on nights where studying was getting the better of them, and Fitz had long since told her that he found it soothing to listen to her ‘prattle on’ about constellations and galaxies._ _He’d take his turn when the conversation moved to black holes and quantum theory and she would listen, and interject, and depending on her mood, agree or argue when he inevitably turned the conversation to space time and the theory of relativity._

_That particular night the conversation flowed in similar vein, but with some new and exciting habits between the two of them. Their sides were pressed together with a large flannel blanket wrapped around the both of them, and one across their lap. Jemma was leaning her head on Fitz’s shoulder and playing with their intertwined fingers that rested on her thigh. Fitz spoke rapidly, perhaps a bit nervous, but she found herself calm in a way she hadn’t experienced in...months, if not years._

_She thought back to nights at the Academy, watching the stars, sharing a blanket, side by side in a not dissimilar fashion, but tonight it was...more than that. She snuggled in a little closer as warm thoughts fogged her head and Fitz reached around with this unused arm to rub her bicep._

_“Are you cold?”_

_“No. Well, maybe a little, but I’m fine. In fact...” she looked up at him, ”I’m better than fine. This is lovely. Nice even.”_

_He smiled wide, looking down at her and knew the moment was perfect. As he began to flutter his eyes closed and lean down her gasp shook him from the reverie._

_“Oh Fitz look!”_

_He turned toward where she was pointing to the sky and followed her directive to the meteor streaking across the night. As promised it was a high velocity shower, and as the shooting stars took flight they whipped rapidly across the black expanse._

_He watched for a moment and then looked over again as Jemma ignited with excitement. He certainly found astronomy interesting - especially in all of the vast and unexplored potential realities of space, but Jemma enjoyed the simpler aspects of it. The parts that reminded her of her childhood on an estate in Sheffield, and the pieces that made her think of her dad and the summer she spent in bed recovering from scoliosis surgery. Fitz removed his hand from hers almost begrudgingly in order to bring it around her shoulder and Jemma’s focus remained skyward as she leaned into his embrace, placing her hand instead on his thigh._

_“So tell me about this meteor shower, what kind is it again?”_

_“Fitz, you know what an Eta Aquariids meteor shower is. You know what the meteors are made of, and that’s there’s a 0.0000007% chance one of those meteors is actually an Asgaurdian traveling through the Bifrost.”_

_Fitz smirked as he leaned his head on hers._

_“Yeah, but I like to hear you talk about it.”_

_She felt another rush of affection for him. The same kind she had been feeling in stronger and strong bursts since she’d realized he was asking her out on a date. Really since the moment she had seen Hunter by Bobbi’s bed, and if she was honest probably it had been before then that she...she risked missing another meteor as she soaked in the wonder of it all. It had been almost a year since Fitz had woken up from his coma and 4 months that she’d been back at the base and able to see him every day. So here they were. Safe, for the time being, and happy, and peacefully watching the stars in the sky. She couldn’t think of anything else in the world that she wanted to be doing at that exact moment, except for maybe..._

_Jemma looked up at Fitz, the movement of her head causing him to look down, and without another word, their lips met. It was subtle and warm and his hand curled around her shoulder as hers pressed against his thigh. He kissed her harder, leaning forward, and she responded in kind, puckering her mouth more forcefully against his, until she needed to pull back her mouth for air. She kissed him again lightly before leaning back just enough to make eye contact._

_He looked at her with a reverence that was striking and it was everything she had wanted their first kiss to be._

_“I missed you...” she breathed._

_An undercurrent of pain flitted across his expression and he looked down at her, not quite sure how to respond._

_“I haven’t, I don’t think - I don’t think I’ve really had a chance to tell you that. I know what’s done is done and we - we’re here, and we’re moving forward, and this is wonderful. But I missed you so much Fitz. Every day, it was like a part of me was... I’m so sorry - I am. Not just sorry that I hurt you, and that I lied, but I am sorry that we were apart. I’m sorry that my leaving for the mission kept us apart for so long.”_

_Fitz was touched. He knew that there was a time where he would have felt vindicated to hear this. To have her almost grovel in apology. But things had changed since Gonzalez had taken over and they had fought together to take back The Playground, find Coulson, and rescue Skye. Things had changed since they'd struck up this new phase of their relationship._

_“Jemma, I missed you too. I... I felt...lost...without you. It's gotten better - I’ve learned how to... I’ve gotten better at - when I was out in the field with Hunter & Coulson, it felt good to be on my own and feeling...but when I was...Jemma, when you were gone, I...” _

_He didn't want to tell her, not now. He couldn’t add to her guilt like this. But they’d made a pact...at their first meal they had committed to no more secrets._

_“Jemma I need to tell you something - and I don’t think...I don’t want it to m...m...m...mmm...”_

_He couldn’t do it. It was too embarrassing. He couldn’t even get the words out._

_Jemma clenched back tears. She hated it when his injury made her cry. It was so unfair to him. She knew it made him feel pitied. She didn’t pity him. Not anymore. She had seen his strength, his endurance, his agility and his grit in the face of a life altering diagnosis._

_“Fitz, I...”_

_She pulled a hand up to his cheek and tried to face him with eyes that told him she believed in him._

_“We can take a minute and keep trying, or we don’t have to talk about it right now. We can keep watching the meteors, and, maybe, if you’d like, we can talk about it in a bit...or, if you really need, we can discuss it another time.”_

_This was becoming their refrain, the way they kept to their commitment. They weren’t holding back anymore, but they tried to be gentle with each other, encouraging and accepting that they would discuss something, when they were ready._

_He looked at her and he wanted to kiss her again._

_His eyes went down to her mouth and then back up to her gaze and down again. Her expression softened and he swooped down, scrunching his face as he pressed his lips firmly against hers. A reminder that she was real and whole and here._

_She pulled his face to hers as he connected with her substantially, and she knew this was a different kind of kiss. A kiss that told him that this was really happening and she realized what he had been trying to say._ _As they parted she considered again, keeping this to herself, but she had been wondering when she would find a way to tell him of her suspicion._

_“Fitz, I’m sorry - I should have asked you sooner, and I understand if you’re angry, but, I...I - Fitz were you, have you been talking to...were you hearing voices, or having hallucinations?”_

_His stomach dropped._

_He was angry alright - furious. He didn’t know who he was madder at - her or Skye...Daisy._

_“She told you?”_

_“What?”_

_Jemma considered it a sort of confirmation but was now more concerned with who he had talked to about it._

_“Who tol - you mean Daisy?”_

_“Yes. When did she tell you?”_

_“You talked to her about it?”_

_Jemma was hurt - felt the sting of his secrets with Skye again._

_“Yes - didn’t she - what did she say to you?”_

_“Nothing - I didn't, she didn’t. She didn't tell me anything. Nobody told me, I...”_

_She looked down at her hands. This had been a mistake. He had pulled away from her, the blanket around their shoulders falling._

_“She didn’t tell you? So you just - how did you know?”_

_“Fitz - I’ve known you for ten years - I know the difference between you talking to yourself, and...”_

_“Hallucinating.”_

_She nodded, still not looking at him._

_Fitz paused. The odds were she had read enough about his injury to know that hallucinations were a common symptom of his type of TBI. He even remembered her asking him early on if he was experiencing anything of that nature after he came out of the coma._

_“Do you still, are you - do you still see things, or, hear things...?”_

_He shook his head._

_She was desperate to help - to ask more questions, to understand what he had heard or seen._

_“When you talked to ...Daisy, did you, did you tell her what you had been...”_

_She just didn't know how to phrase it - this was a minefield. She was sick thinking the worst thing - that he had hallucinated Ward. His face, his voice, his detached expression as he watched them fall._

_“Fitz,” she looked up, braving the anger in his gaze, “you don’t have to tell me right now, but can I ask - what were you...what were you seeing?”_

_It was worse now. He couldn’t tell her. Not with the empathetic tone in her voice and the soft look on her face. He tried to come up with a lie but it was no use._

_“You.”_

_His voice barely registered as he looked down and her bottom lip quivered as she tried to swallow the sob growing in her._

_She hadn’t imagined that she could possibly feel worse about leaving him. She didn’t regret it wholly, she hadn’t changed her mind about all the reasons that led to that decision, but her remorse was overwhelming._

_“It's been a while - not since - since soon after you came back, I - I-”_

_“Fitz,” she wanted to apologize again, but right now it was more important to understand how he was coping, “did you ever, have you ever talked to anyone else about-”_

_He glared at her and something inside her snapped._

_“Fitz you have to take care of yourself,” she cried, “You were having full visual and auditory hallucinations. You...you can’t... you need...help. Professional help.”_

_She was incensed - sad, angry, worried, concerned, frustrated, determined._

_His jaw was fixed as he looked down at the blanket and for a moment she considered that he might get up and storm away but she almost didn’t care. She would have this fight with him if it meant he might listen to her eventually._

_“I’ve been meeting with Andrew.”_

_He didn't look up._

_She was taken aback and she let out a small, relieved, sob._

_He chanced a look at her and his expression shifted. Her face was not worry or pity in the way that he had imagined. She was crying but she was smiling. She put a hand on his._

_“Oh thank goodness. I’m so glad. I know how hard that must have been to...that’s...how do you feel about that?”_

_He gave her an aggressively annoyed scowl._

_“I’m trying Fitz,” she said, wiping away her tears, “I know you don’t want to be dealing with any of this and I know you know I want you to...”_

_She tried to avoid the term ‘get better’, she knew it agitated him._

_“Just say it,” he sighed._

_“I want you to get better. I want US to get better. I want to get better. You’ll never be the person you were before. Neither of us will. But we both deserve to be healthy and happy. So when I say I want you to get better, to recover. That’s what I mean. That’s what I want for both of us. To be happy and healthy. Both of us. Together.”_

_His anger started to dissipate at her words._

_“I’m sorry I didn’t ask you about it sooner,” she squeezed his hand_

_“We were a little busy.”_

_Jemma’s laugh surprised both of them and Fitz shared a slight smile._

_It stood to reason why they’d never had time for a real & honest conversation - most of their attempts had been in the middle of a mission, at the bottom of the ocean, on the way to battle. _

_“Happy & healthy together sounds good,” he granted her, “I’m - I’m sorry I got angry...” _

_“Thank you.”_

_She kissed him slowly and then he took her hand and sat back against the tree while she adjusted their covers and he gazed up._

_“I think we probably missed a few meteors.”_

_“There’ll be more - and we can come again next year for our anniversary. Maybe even bring a tele-”_

_Jemma’s eyes widened as she realized what she’d said and she couldn't bring herself to look at him. Her eyes fell to where he held her hand and she thought of the moment, not too many weeks ago, where they had begun to find their way back to each other, sitting on the floor of the lab._

_She thought of all of the potential in those clasped hands and knew that she meant what she’d said. She wanted to come back and hold his hand under that tree next year, and the year after that, and beyond._

_“It’s a date,” Fitz said softly._

_She looked up, surprised again, and he was looking at her wistfully._

_“I don’t mean to rush,” she began, “we haven’t even talked about - it’s only...we just started...dating...” s_ _he said, a question in her voice._

_“Well, one could argue we’ve been courting for ten years,” Fitz offered._

_She laughed._

_“Should we talk about it?” he added, a bit more seriously._

_“I think, maybe...yes.”_

_“The other night, we said, more than friends...what does that mean to you?” he asked quietly._

_“Well, I think, colloquially, I might say - dating... so,“ she began to launch to to spiral, “I suppose that makes you my boyfriend - or if we want to be more progressive - partner. Or perhaps, a bit more fanciful, beau. Companion doesn’t really work, unless we’re talking about Doctor Who in which case I suppose we’re rather Amy & Rory more so than...” she stopped herself, adding “...what about you?” _

_“You’re definitely my partner. Have been for years. Certainly my companion - although I think you’re depressingly right about Amy & Rory.” _

_Jemma smirked._

_“But, to me, yes, I think...girlfriend is...” he smiled. “I’d like that...it doesn’t have to be now, it could be something we, talk about - later, if we want...”_

_Something about it felt tawdry to Jemma - and perhaps, if she was honest with herself, it was part of why she’d had such a hard time figuring out her feelings for Fitz. The notion of being anybody’s girlfriend had never particularly appealed to her._

_“I’d like to keep talking about it, the two of us...and maybe, by the time we’re ready to talk to other people about it, we’ll have figured it out?”_

_“Does that mean you want to...”_

_“Keep this private? Yes. For now. I’d like...” Jemma’s voice got small, “I’d like to feel like, we have some time to, get to know each other, this way, before we -”_

_“Before we go to Coulson’s office and ask to register our relationship?” Fitz half-joked._

_“Yes.”_

_She was thrilled they were on the same page about some piece of these uncharted waters._

_“Is that okay with you?”_

_“Yeah. I agree, keeping things private while we, umm, figure this out, see where it's going, find it a name.”_

_He smirked and kissed her temple and Jemma realized they’d been doing quite a bit of talking, which, was wonderful, but, really, there only had so much time alone together under the stars._

_“Fitz, what time is it?”_

_“9:15”_

_“Okay, we should go in 15 minutes, get back to the base by ten.”_

_“Sounds good - what do you want to do for the next fifteen-”_

_Her lips met his in an answer._

~~~

 

Jemma considered his question -  _“Are we ready for paperwork?”_...and the words she had said to Daisy earlier that day came back to her -  _“When I fall in love, you’ll know.”_

She and Fitz had been in a new stage of their relationship for several weeks and had, to their agreement, continued talking about what it meant. They kept talking about their feelings for each other, and the evolution of those feelings, as they continued batting around words like girlfriend and boyfriend, and nothing had felt right. Jemma liked partner best but understood why, in Fitz’s words, it was a bit anticlimactic.

“I don’t see why not. You’ve slept over every night for weeks now. I’d say this is pretty settled, wouldn’t you?”

Jemma leaned her head on his shoulder, looking down at his hands, avoiding the nagging sensation that she didn’t really believe her own question.

Fitz continued to ponder as he ran his hands up her leg affectionately and he closed his eyes for a moment, leaning his head back.

Was it settled? Things were too good between them, and he could’t find it in his heart to drudge up why he felt like something was...but they had come this far over the past couple months and things were nearly perfect. The rest would come with time, the same way this had. It had taken them the past year to find their way back to each other, and before that it had taken him months to even say aloud what he felt for her. If they needed more time to...they had time - it could wait.

“I think so,” he lied, fighting back the voice in his head that sounded so much like her, telling him to keep their promise and be honest.

He tried for partial truth.

“We do still need to figure out what to call each other,” he smiled weakly, pulling her hand up to kiss her knuckles.

 

~~~

_Jemma returned to the lab, the monolith secured, and now being measured & monitored 24/7. She put away the geiger meter that she had just finished using to measure for trace radiation and set the tablet on her desk with the readings - all safe. _

_Fitz wasn’t there but he’d left a note on her desk._

_“7 pm”_

_He had drawn a question mark, then crossed it out and she grinned at the post-it for a good 90 seconds, running her fingers over it._

_She and Fitz were going to dinner._

_She and Fitz were going on a_ _date_ _._

 _She and_ _Fitz_ _were going on a_ **date** _._

_She was pulled away from her thoughts realizing what time it was and rushed away to get ready._

_____

_When they got to the eatery they were both slightly overdressed but Jemma brushed it away quickly. He could tell she was as nervous as he was but appreciated her intent to wave off any missteps. Usually he’d find it a bit patronizing but he knew it came from a good place. Sometimes he just needed to remind himself of that._

_Fitz was overgenerous with every person who he could palm a twenty dollar bill to, so they spent the majority of the evening being dotted on my many members of the staff._

_They were both happy for the distraction - thankful for some activities to keep them engaged, fearful of the moment that they would lapse into silence, unsure of how to converse on a date._

_The first course was awkward to say the least - Fitz didn’t know what to order and when Jemma perused the wine menu for what he felt was an inordinate amount of time he had second guessed whether or not to tease her._ _He didn’t know what was appropriate now - where their closeness began and ended. He knew he cared for her, wanted to be there with her, at dinner, on a date. A date._

_He was 98.7% sure it was a date._

_He spent the night reminding himself that’s what they were doing and it threw his already jumbled-on-occasion thoughts in to a blender. She picked wine and it was...wine. Fitz drank the first glass fairly quickly and Jemma eyed him with interest._

_“Sorry, just, errr, thirsty, I guess...”_

_“...I’m nervous too,” she said and they both smiled._

_“Right?” Fitz nodded_

_“This is a bit...strange...” Jemma agreed._

_“...good strange or bad strange...?”_

_She smiled again and said softly,_

_“Good. I’m having a nice time.”_

_They sat quietly drinking their wine and eating their soup & salad for a few minutes, both a little bit relaxed but still wondering how to continue conversation in the setting. _

_“So, should we make a rule not to talk about work, or...?” Fitz questioned._

_“Well that seems silly,” Jemma responded, “we spend most of our waking hours together working, what else would we have to talk about?”_

_A lump formed in Fitz’s throat as he thought of all the things he’d like to talk about that weren’t work. How happy he was to be there with her. How beautiful she was. How much he wanted to know..._

_They began talking again at the same time._

_“Jemma, when you said ‘maybe there is’, what - “_

_“I mean, of course there’s other things to talk about, I - “_

_They both stopped, and with either perfect, or terrible, timing their water returned to clear their bowls and top off their wine pours._

_Fitz nodded graciously at the server as Jemma took a nervous gulp and he fidgeted with the napkin._

_“You were saying?” he offered._

_“No, you first, you...you had a question”_

_Fitz’s mouth was dry and he reached for his water glass. He eyed her as he took a sip and her eyes were warm, maybe even expectant. She wanted him to talk. Wanted to hear his question. Perhaps even wanted to answer._

_“When you - you...a few...a few...”_

_Shite, the ruddy word was escaping him_

_“...a few - before, when you said, you said that maybe there was - maybe there was something to dis...something to talk about...what did you mean?”_

_The air around him felt heavy on his chest as he waited for her response._

_Jemma nodded, pulled her napkin from her lap, and placed it on the table as she scooted forward._

_“I wanted to talk about...this. I wanted to talk about what you said at the bottom of the ocean, because, I didn’t...I didn’t get to say anything then. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how I...”_

_She suddenly felt exposed. She didn't want to be having this conversation in a restaurant. But she couldn’t waste any more time._

_“Fitz, I meant that... maybe...maybe there is...more. Something more - for me, too. For you. More than...friends. There is in fact. There is more than that for me. You’re my best friend and...something more. You’re more than that Fitz.”_

_He opened his mouth, no clue what was going to come out, and at that exact moment, the damned waiter, who had been his saving grace earlier, had returned with their entrees._

_Fitz barely caught a word as the gentlemen placed the plates and watched Jemma as she politely received their food, feigning interest in the description of the crusted halibut and lamb medallions._

_Fitz stared down at his plate, now at a loss and saw Jemma begin to cut her fish out of the corner of his eye. He couldn’t let the moment pass. Not again. He couldn’t be afraid. She had just told him everything he wanted to hear._

_He opened his mouth again - and again she spoke at the same time._

_“Jemma, I -”_

_“Fitz, I don’t know if you -”_

_They were both red cheeked at the overlap this time and Jemma put her knife and fork down._

_He nodded at her to continue._

_“I don’t know if you - do you, I mean, a lot has changed, and I know that we haven’t necessarily worked everything out, and -”_

_“Jemma, you are still more than that to me too.”_

_Her face broke in to a beaming smile and he followed suit, color returning to his cheeks and the lamb in front of him finally enticing his appetite._

_They grinned at each other as they dug in to their food, content with the situation for the time being and ate their mains in companionable silence for several minutes, commenting only on the food, talking in depth of the spices, the flatware, the glasses, the wine, and the thread count of the table cloth._

_They were happy for the moment to rest in knowing that they were on date as more than friends and they continued the dinner without further depth of the conversation on that topic until they were on their way out, pleasantly buzzed as they headed out of the downtown bistro._

_Jemma was happy for the opportunity to walk back as they met the fresh air with gusto. She took Fitz’s arm and he obliged and she pulled them in a roundabout direction toward the base._

_“Taking the scenic route?” Fitz asked._

_“If you don’t mind,” she said._

_“Not a bit.”_

_They meandered leisurely through the spring evening and Fitz considered potential options for a second stop. They’d had a lovely dessert at the restaurant so ice cream wasn't particularly on the menu. He considered suggesting another bar for a nightcap but found himself weary to consume too much alcohol._

_“I don’t want to go back to the base yet,” Jemma said._

_He looked over at her, surprised, but not really, that they were sharing thoughts, and through the gaze a neon ‘Diner’ sign caught his eye. He stopped them and nodded his head._

_“Join me for a cup of terrible American tea?” he asked._

_Jemma smiled, and turned them towards the diner._

_A few minutes later they’d settled in to a booth and were adding cream & sugar respectively to their shoddy non-descript black tea. _

_As Jemma dunked her tea bag Fitz noticed that her mood had started to shift and she was clearly gathering up to say something,_

_“Jemma?” he asked._

_She looked up._

_“Can we...can we set some...some ground rules?”_

_“...Oh. Yes. Of course, what did you -”_ _  
_

_“Well it's just that... this.... more than friends, whatever that means for us, right now, and - and, in the...in the...f-f- later...whatever it means I’d like to make a...rule, of sorts, that we...that we don’t keep anything from each other anymore.”_

_“Oh.”_

_“Not anything, well, private, I mean, we both. There’s things, of course, we’re both allowed to...to have private...stuff...but, anything that - has to do with each other, with...us-”_

_“-let's agree to be honest about it,” Jemma said with a soft smile._

_“Yes. Exactly. Thank you.”_

_He placed his hand on her arm in gratitude for helping him form his thought._

_She smiled bigger and nodded._

_“Yes. Of course. Honesty. About us.”_

_He pulled up his mug to his mouth again for something to do and Jemma took a breath._

_“Fitz, I need you to know that I didn’t leave because of what happened to you.”_

_He hadn’t expected this. Perhaps he thought they had moved past it. Perhaps he thought that after their coming back together, becoming friends again, it didn't matter anymore. They had shared a look, sitting on the floor of their lab, with rogue agents surrounding him, that meant for him that it was forgiven, it was over._

_“Jemma, I don’t - “_

_“No, please,” she reached across the table to his hand, “I need to say this and I need to ask you to listen.”_

_He looked down at their hands and nodded almost imperceptibly._

_“Fitz I didn’t leave because of what happened to you. I never thought you were damaged... or worthless. I thought you were hurt - that you were injured and that you needed the best chance possible at recovery - and I thought I was impeding that. So I thought I had to leave, to give you a chance to heal and re-learn how to be a new version of yourself without my...interference.”_

_She paused waiting to see if he would say something, but his eyes remained downward. He did turn his fingers around, grasping hers, a small urge for her to continue._

_“I went to Coulson and had planned to give him my resignation, or maybe ask for a sabbatical, and he told me about the mission at Hydra. I took the opportunity right away. I was so angry at Ward and what he did to us, to you. I was so mad at Garrett and all of the others who had infested this agency, that nearly cost you your life. It was the perfect opportunity to...to do something. I didn't think I could help you here so I took a chance at going somewhere where I thought I could help all of us take down Hydra - and I’m sorry I didn’t do more. I’m sorry I didn’t kill Ward, and that he hurt Bobbi, and that he is still out there and that Hydra is still out there hurting people...”_

_Fitz looked up as if he might say something and she rushed to finish._

_“But what I am most sorry about is that I left you. I didn't mean to turn my back on you or make you think I...I didn't do it because of what you said. I didn’t leave because I didn’t feel the same way, and I didn’t leave because your injury changed how much I cared about you - how much I care about you. I left because I thought it would help you and I am sorry I hurt you instead.”_

_She squeezed his hand and he brought his other over to hold hers in between them. They both looked down and he took a shuddering breath before he looked back up at her._

_“Thank you Jemma, I know you - but thank you for...for telling me. I don’t want you to feel bad about that anymore. I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to be sad, or angry, or - I want you to be happy with...with me.”_

_Tears pricked in her eyes as he finished and she wanted desperately to hug him. She brought her hand over theirs now and tried to put all her affection for him in to the gesture._

_“Fitz, I want that too.”_

_Fitz sighed silently and a small smile crept through._

_“Should we head back?” he asked, content that they’d covered a lot of ground that evening and eager to walk back to the base hand in hand._

_She nodded and he pulled a tener out of his wallet._

_“Thank you,” she stated as they got up_

_“For that?”_

_“For more than that, for listening to me.”_

_He shrugged then took her hand._

_“It's about time, ay?”_

_She smiled again as the headed outside and continued holding hands as they made their way to the back alley of another bar they knew well. As they stood outside, Fitz’s jacket around Jemma’s arms, they knew they couldn’t both go through the same entrance and they paused in front of the banal looking brick wall._

_They faced each other as Fitz took Jemma’s other hand and swung them lightly in between the two of them._

_“So, do you think two people who are more than friends would call this a date?”_

_She smiled coyly and said,_

_“Only if there’s plans for a second date.”_

_“Really?”_ _  
_

_“Really. How about Friday? Perhaps we could go to dinner again?”_

_It was Fitz’s turn to beam._

_“Sounds perfect.”_

_With their hands held in between them like some sort of mid-century Rockwellian moment, it was nearly perfect when Jemma stood up on her tiptoes to kiss Fitz on the cheek. Almost the corner of the mouth really. He hadn’t been expecting more than that and was simply floored that the night had gone well and a second date was on the calendar already._

_A million questions flashed through his mind as to the etiquette of how they should plan to conduct themselves at work the next day but for the moment it didn't matter. He wanted to end the night on a high note, so he leaned forward to kiss her forehead, and dropped her hands, almost sad, as he made his way down the alley to go in through the back of the bar._

_He kept an eye towards Jemma as he watched her check her surroundings before pressing through the hidden door and after she had gone through he made his way into the base as well._

_He hadn’t expected it but was happy to see that she had waited for him at the end of the main corridor that seperated the common areas of the base from the dormitory wings. It was getting a bit late and the halls were quiet as they made their way side by side to their rooms. A part of him ached to take her hand again and Jemma held hers in front of her to fight the urge to link her fingers with Fitz’s._

_As they neared their rooms she thought fleetingly of what she might do if this were a more normal circumstance. If they were two people who barely knew each other that had just had a lovely first date. She thought of how she might invite him in if this were a normal world where she lived in an apartment instead of a bunk. She thought of how she would eagerly test his kissing technique and blushed as his arm brushed hers._

_She kept walking as Fitz stopped at his own bunk, and they both paused in front of their doors, willing themselves not to look at each other. As she reached out to the keypad she noticed that she still had his jacket around her arms and panicked, red faced._

_She decided against giving it back to him that moment, too conspicuous - she would sneak it back in to his room later._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was another flashback heavy chapter and I definitely think this is going to end up with more than five chapters. We have a lot of ground to cover in how they got from a dinner invitation to sharing the same bedroom every night!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz & Simmons define their relationship.

**July 2015 - The Playground**

 

Fitz took a deep breath, looking down as he continued his affections. He leaned his head on hers and tried to focus on his enjoyment of the moment but Jemma still had not responded and he re-framed his inquiry

“So what does it mean then when we tell everyone - what does that...what does that make us?”

Jemma scooted closer to him, curving her legs over his lap and wrapping her arms around his waist.

“SHIELD refers to it as entering in to a romantic relationship. That’s how I think we should inform Coulson. Tell him we have entered in to a romantic relationship and that it will have no adverse affect on our work or in our missions and that we have been and will continue to maintain decorum and professionalism in the lab.”

“A romantic relationship?”

She looked up and both of their expressions were questioning.

“It's accurate. Factual. We are in fact in a romantic relationship,” her voice softened as she smiled and Fitz grinned back.

Romantic relationship was perhaps a good definition. He couldn’t believe it had been almost three months and so much had changed. On top of sharing everything, they had become much so much closer physically. More eager for and comfortable with physical affection - hungry to hold each other each evening. Maintaining space during the day had its ups and downs. It wasn't a completely new notion for either of them to curb their fleeting desires to touch each other affectionately, but as time went by and the physical touch of their relationship became more and more natural when others weren’t around, it had become harder to keep it confined to a certain room, a certain time of day.

 

~~~

_“Daisy!”_

_Jemma called her name as she walked through the hanger doors._

_“Simmons, what’s up?”_

_“We’re all set for mini golf this weekend - you me, Hunter, Bobbi, Fitz & Mack. I made a reservation!” _

_“Sorry we’ll have to do a rain check - Mack & I are headed to Colombia to investigate a possible inhuman and Bobbi & Hunter won’t be back from Italy until Tuesday.” _

_“Oh no - well, I suppose Fitz & I will have to go - I already booked the time and had to put down a non-refundable holding fee. We’ll let you know how it is and maybe we can all try again sometime!” Jemma spouted her response quickly and began to walk away then turned back half heartedly, “...unless you need backup?” _

_“No, Mack & I are taking a tac team, May’s running comms for Hunter & Bobbi and Coulson is monitoring both missions - don’t think we’ll need any help from the science squad unless we find anything.” _

_“Good luck!”_

_As Jemma bounced away Daisy eyed her suspiciously. This had to have been the third or fourth time in a couple of weeks that Simmons was heading off base - and the wheels started to click as Daisy considered Fitz had been MIA more often as well..._

_Jemma smirked to herself proudly as she headed back in to the lab. She had known Bobbi, Hunter & May’s mission had gotten extended, and may or may not have made the reservations anyway. When she’d heard Mack talking to Fitz about he and Daisy’s mission she had realized what a brilliant opportunity was presenting itself for their next date. Not only was it their first time out on a date in broad daylight, the activity would give them ample excuse to be gone for hours. _

_____

_Coulson didn't say much two days later when Jemma over explained that she and Fitz had plans with the rest of the team but now everyone was gone and they had to hold the reservation or forfeit the deposit._

_“Have a good time Simmons,” was his only response - a gleam in his eye._

_They took a car a bit outside of town to the large golf course, and made their way into the putt-putt part of the range with a smile. As they headed in from the parking lot, Fitz took Jemma’s hand and she almost pulled it away before remembering that they were in a place where people expected happy couples to be having fun and holding hands. She gripped his hand tight instead and held onto it as they checked in, keeping her hand in his as they picked out clubs._

_Fitz was on cloud nine. It had been years since they had done something like this and he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face as they walked hand in hand through the range towards the first hole. He balanced the putter under his arm, unwilling to abandon their clutch, and dropped the two colored golf balls on to the green._

_“Okay Simmons, care to make this interesting?”_

_“How so?” she squeezed his hand._

_“Whoever wins gets to pick the next date.”_

_She grinned ear to ear._

_“I’ll raise you,” she said quietly, getting closer to him, “whoever gets the ball in with the lower par on each round gets a kiss.”_

_“It's a deal.”_

_She pulled her hand from his and they shared a brief fist bump, then the game was afoot._

_Fitz sank the first hole quickly, his blue ball sliding through the classic windmill in one go, and he turned to her with a smile._

_“Lucky first shot,” she teased, nudging him with her hip as she swung at her own orange ball._

_It popped off the windmill twice before she got it through and then still had to follow it around to sink it in with a par 3 for the round. Fitz bit back a small smile as she picked up her ball and she walked back to him, her nose crinkled._

_“Don't get used to this,” she said as her lips brushed his._

_Six holes later it was Jemma who was in the lead - having beat Fitz out on 4 rounds._

_As he walked over to kiss her he leaned down, his lips a hair’s breadth from hers and said,_

_“I think you’re cheating.”_

_“How dare you,” she mouthed, her breath mingling with his._

_“I’m just saying,” he continued, kissing her softly, “when the rocket scientist is losing a game of physics, some foul play is at hand.”_

_He jutted his eyebrows as he parted from her, attempting to his his grin, and they continued towards the next hole as she said,_

_“Next you’re going to say you’re letting me win.”_

_“Not for all the kisses in the world Jemma Simmons.”_

_He grinned back at her as he walked ahead and she was a rush with endorphins._

_They had kissed heavily on their last date and hadn’t had a chance for much more of it since then. Jemma considered that if she played her cards right they’d have time for even more of that later in the evening. When they had gotten home from their date in the park she had begun considering when they might move beyond kissing and she found herself eager for it that night as she lie in bed thinking about the warmth of his mouth, the softness of his lips, and the comfort of his caress._

_It also just so happened that he seemed to be filling out recently, and if she wasn't mistaken he had gotten some new pants and shirts that he had started to rotate in to his wardrobe. They fit him nicely._

_“Fitz,” she asked, as he surveyed the next obstacle, “have you been - working out?_

_“What?” he paused, “Oh, um - yes. I’ve been, um... training with Mack some afternoons - lifting weights. Started with physical therapy a while back, and then I thought it would be good to continue, you know, bein’ out in the field more...” he mumbled his answer as he lined up his shot._

_“Oh.”_

_She couldn't help herself as her eyes raked over his backside. His shoulders were a bit filled out, his back seemed to have a hint of more definition, and his butt...well, his butt looked squeezable. She blushed as the notion flitted through her mind and she attempted a more socially acceptable version of her thoughts._

_“It suits you.”_

_Fitz blanched - he couldn't help but notice the pink in her cheeks, and he silently thanked Bobbi & Mack, who he now realized had tag-teamed a mini-makeover on him. _

_“Thanks,” he said quietly._

_Fitz won that round, as Jemma seemed to have a hard time focusing, and her breathing was shallow. There was no quip this time and he felt a palpable tension from her as she moved towards him, bringing her hand to his chest as she leaned up slowly, kissing him more ardently than she had been up to that point._

_He was dizzy and he stood there, arms limp at his sides as she pushed her breasts against him. This was one of his first chances to feel her chest against his full on and immediately thoughts of what that would feel like in a more intimate setting struck him._

_They hadn’t moved past first base, so to speak, and Fitz hadn’t had reason to complain about it. With so much of this part of their relationship feeling delicate, he didn't want to rush any of the aspects of it. They had been so emotionally open with each other after he had finally struck up the courage to ask her out to dinner, and he was over the moon that things were going so well._

_Adding kissing, and other things, to that was absolutely wonderful and he realized how eager he was for that to continue. As he considered reaching up to hold her close, she pulled away, and his eyes followed the lines of her body as she she walked to the next hole._

_Now it was Fitz’s turn to be flustered, and his temper nearly got the best of him as he banged his pole against the wall, having missed the shot again. He huffed as he finally landed the hole and Jemma raised an eyebrow._

_“Don't you start,” he mumbled._

_She lifted her chin expectantly instead and he went to kiss her, still a bit cranky._

_“Hey,” she caught his hand, as he began to walk away, and as he turned back to her he was struck with a recent memory._

_The two of them in the locker room, his heart beating fast as she had said through tears, ‘...maybe there is’. His demeanor shifted and she gazed at him with gentle affection._

_“Jemma,” he breathed, and she pulled her back to him, for another kiss._

_His hand moved quickly to hold her chin as they kissed firmly, and he knew this was the kind of kiss he would have given her that night. If he’d had a minute to process, if Coulson hadn’t interrupted, if he hadn’t been bound for a war on an aircraft carrier._

_“Jemma,” he said again, as their lips parted, their faces still close._

_“Yes Fitz?”_

_“I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time.”_

_It wasn't the words that he’d been planning on but it conveyed his intent well enough._

_“Is that so?”_

_He pulled back slightly, tucking her hair behind her ear, and he nodded._

_“I should have kissed you in the locker room that day. I just didn’t know what to say. I didn't think...I didn't know there was even a -”_

_She brought her hand to his cheek and looked at him. Her chest swelled at his confession and she knew a part of her wished he had kissed her then too. That he had pulled her into his arms and kissed her like his life depended on it. That he had wrapped himself around and told her that he..._

_“Why don't you kiss me again now and we’ll call it even,” she said with an affectionate and flirtatious smile._

_The corners of his mouth widened and he obliged, pulling her face back to his for a tender, meaningful kiss. He ran his hand down her neck, shoulder, and arm as he pulled away, taking her hand to guide them to the next hole, and Jemma leaned her shoulder against his as they walked._

_They continued for the next few rounds, trading smooches & pecks, with a more lingering kiss every couple of holes. Fitz continued to appreciate the press of her body against his each time he could enjoy a longer embrace, and Jemma itched to pull his pelvis into hers any time his tongue threatened to escape his mouth. _

_By the 18th hole Fitz had gotten a small lead and was angling to take back the whole game._

_“Final round, two par for you. If I sink this it's my win Simmons.”_

_“Should I be nervous for our next date?”_

_“I don’t think so - I’m not gonna ruin our month-aversary” he smiled, over pronouncing the made up word._

_Jemma surprised herself as tears sprang to her eyes._

_Fitz didn't notice as he swung toward the large plastic castle in front of him, sinking a hole in one._

_She was still struck at his acknowledgement and she found herself fighting back a certain set of words._

_He pumped his fists in the air, turning back to her with a truly winning smile, and she blazed towards him, throwing her arms around his neck as she sprung on to her toes to kiss him hard. He dropped his putter as he embraced her, arms swift around her waist, and pulled her in to him on instinct. They veered in to PG-13 territory as her tongue swiped across his and shortly she was back on her feet, pulling away with a blush and a coquettish grin._

_“Congratulations Fitz,” she dazzled._

_He followed her back to return their golf clubs with a Cheshire Cat grin and when they left the course they were both relaxed, all smiles as they walked hand-in-hand back to the car._

_It was getting in to the evening and Jemma piped up,_

_“Did you see that drive-in restaurant on the way - said best milkshakes in the county, should we give it a try?”_

_Fitz squeezed her hand and nodded, kissing her quickly before they got in to the car._

_Dinner was just as delightful, enjoying burgers and shakes in the car while Fitz did most of the talking - launching easily in to a continuation of an earlier conversation they’d been having in the lab about their study of the monolith._

_After they finished, they were both companionably quiet as Jemma drove back towards the city and it was as they passed a road sign that referenced a nearby lookout point that her next great idea struck her._

_She flipped the blinker and began to change lanes._

_“What - where are we going?”_

_“It's not too late yet - let’s stop here and see what constellations are out.”_

_The clearing off the highway was up on a bluff, the kind if place that tourists would stop to stretch their legs and take a photo - or horny teenagers would head to for some private time._

_“Jemma, is this...are you taking us parking?”_

_“Yes?” she answered, backing into a spot overlooking the valley below._

_He looked at her with raised eyebrows and a growing grin._

_“Alright then.”_

_She put the car in park, getting a bit nervous as she turned it off. Looking down, she spoke._

_“I think perhaps, well, it would be nice to - we could put the back seat down and - it would be more comfortable at least - and then we can see if we have a good view of the sky, and...” she trailed off and Fitz followed her hand as she tucked her hair behind her ear._

_He liked her shorter hair - it suited her, and he enjoyed following the line of her cheek around her ear and down her chin. Fitz stared for a moment and then hopped out of his seat, moving wordlessly as he folded down the back seat, creating a breadth of space for them. There were still blankets in the car as well and he shook them out for a little more comfort._

_As he came around to open the back Jemma joined him and they both crawled in, propping themselves against the backs of their seats, legs outstretched. Their hearts were beating fast as they stared out into the night sky, looking down on the lights below and Jemma spoke first._

_“Is this weird? It feels a bit weird...”_

_“No,” Fitz answered immediately, taking her hand, “It's nice.”_

_He winked and she shook her head as her face grew in to a comforting smile and she leaned over to kiss him sweetly._

_“Fitz, I - earlier, you said, you should have kissed me when I told you I wanted to talk in the locker room and it made me realize...I know we’re moving forward but, I, I - part of me will always wish I had kissed you at the bottom of the ocean.”_

_His eyes grew concerned, not sure what to do with that information, and he linked his fingers more tightly with hers, looking down at their intertwined hands._

_“Jemma, you don't have to...you don’t owe me any explanations, I know you didn't have time to - I didn’t give you time to...”_

_“I wish I could have kissed you and held you longer and told you...I wish I’d known what to say - I wish I could have kissed you then. I wish I’d known then that I wanted to kiss you.”_

_“Jemma...”_

_Something about her confession hurt him. He didn't want her to be sad anymore. This was the third time in as many weeks that she was apologizing about something that had happened in the past and he didn’t want her to feel that constant guilt._

_“Jemma, I’m not still upset about any of that. I put you in an awkward position. I didn’t expect you say anything then. I had no idea what you would say. I didn’t, I didn’t even know what I wanted to say. You didn’t do anything wrong that day. You saved my life.”_

_“It was the other way around.”_

_He sighed. They’d had this argument already._

_“Fine. We both saved each other’s life. We both wish we’d done things differently.”_

_She didn't have much to say to that so she tucked her head in to his shoulder and kissed his cheek._

_“Okay.”_

_The mood had shifted a bit melancholy and they were quiet for a couple minutes, Fitz’s brushing his thumb against Jemma’s fingers as they held hands. He pulled her hand up to kiss it and she looked up at him, reminded of their similar position just the other night in the park and said,_

_“Fitz, when you’ve thought about us, before, and now, do you think about...this, us, sexually?”_

_Yes._

_It was his first thought to himself, but he felt like she was asking a bigger question._

_“Before, when, I, before I ever...before I said anything, I - I thought about kissing you. I thought about what it might be like if you...if you had the same feelings for me and what it would be like to...to hold you, to...to kiss you and - and to have you want that too. Maybe not so much...sex, right away...but now...I - yes. I’ve thought about... yes.”_

_Up until they had kissed, really kissed, the other other night - it had not been the greatest focus of his pursuits - but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about her in the nights since. Thought about her in his arms,  lying next to him... straddled on top of him._

_“Is that - maybe this is a silly question, but is that something you’d like as part of our relationship?” she continued._

_The question felt odd, but mostly because it seemed to hint at her own insecurity about the topic._

_“I - yes, I, at some point, I,” he was getting very nervous, which usually didn't bode well for his ability to select the preferred words._

_“Jemma - do you...do you want that?”_

_“Yes,” she breathed heavily, “I’m very aroused by you and that seems to be growing stronger every day.”_

_Fitz looked at her, almost shocked, mouth slightly agape._

_She licked her lips._

_“I want everything that we’ve been doing, and more - I very much want to have a sexual relationship with you Fitz. It's a bit awkward to say that and I know we haven’t defined everything so we should talk about it.”_

_He continued to stare at her, words completely lost to him for the moment._

_“I want to make sure I understand what you want and what you’re comfortable with. I want to know how you feel about physical intimacy, and sexual activity.”_

_Jemma’s point of fact conversation was clearly arousing her and Fitz began to notice that she was molding herself around him, cat like, her leg inching up over his in the backseat of the car._

_“Jemma, I - um, I want - all of that, too. I don’t...you, you might need to help me out with, what, can you - can you tell me what you want and I’ll, maybe I can say if I feel the same way?”_

_He supposed he should have been expecting this conversation. Jemma had always been fairly matter of fact when it came to discussing sex as a concept, thankfully avoiding the personal aspects of the topic. It stood to reason she’d seek to be specific in their discussion of what it meant for them._ _  
_

_“Well, I enjoy kissing you, and touching you - I’d like to do more of that, tonight if you are interested. I’d like to have intercourse with you - preferably soon. When we’re both ready of course. I’d like you to touch me. I’d enjoy oral sex - giving and receiving. I'd like to be naked with you, I’d like you to touch my breasts, I’d like, your hands...”_

_She trailed off as she realized she’d begun moving her hands up his arms and across his clothed chest._

_“Is this okay?”_

_He nodded, speechless._

_“I’d like to touch you. With and without clothes on. I'd like you to hold me, and kiss me. I enjoy kissing you a lot. I am attracted to you Fitz, and I’d like to have sex with you and express that attraction. Do you feel the same?”_

_Fitz was completely hard and if he had words to even begin conveying how much he was on the same page, they certainly weren’t coming out of his mouth right now. He was fairly certain he didn't look particularly attractive in the moment as he was still slightly slack jawed as he nodded at her and she smirked._

_“You don’t have to say it all right now, but I’d like to hear more about what you’d enjoy too,” she told him, leaning in and planting a chaste kiss on his mouth._

_“Jemma. I want to make out.”_

_She laughed as her mouth connected with his again and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into the kiss._

_It shifted tone quickly as he plundered his tongue in to her mouth and Jemma sighed, running her thigh in between his. They continued hungrily, hands beginning to roam, and as their bodies started to slide against each other, searching for friction, Fitz moaned._

_Jemma ran her hands across his chest and shoulders, up his neck and through his hair. Her fingertips pressed against each piece of him she could reach._

_He pulled her in to him, stretching his tongue around her mouth, deepening their kiss, and they continued like that for a long while, breathing in short shallow gasps of air when necessary._

_Jemma hitched her leg up and soon she was saddling him, her groin catching against his._

_“Jemma,” he stuttered, a breathy groan and she continued._

_Her rocking was quick and unfocused and his fingers dug in to her back as the pressure built uncomfortably in his pants._

_He groaned again and she observed this was not a completely pleasurable sound._

_Jemma slowed and asked,_

_“Is this ...over stimulating?”_

_“It feels amazing - but...yes...it's, I, I don’t,” he sighed, already mad at himself for what he was about to say, “I don’t, I’d rather not - I’d rather not...get off here in the car like this.”_

_She immediately pulled herself off of him and kissed him gently to soothe the separation._

_“Thank you for telling me that. Is there anything else...is there anything else you want me to know right now? Is there anything you’d like to do - or like me to do?”_

_He still couldn't totally believe this was happening. He honestly hadn’t spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about the kinds of activities or positions he’d enjoy in the event that the two of them began a sexual relationship, but now a bevy of images were floating through his mind._

_“I like - I liked you on top. I’d like to do that again, but, maybe in one of our bedrooms or somewhere more private. I’d like to... touch you...with your shirt off....”_

_“Is that your proposal for our next date?”_

_  
_ _They both laughed and it cut a significant amount of tension in the air. There was a sense that things had gone as far as they were going to go for the evening and Jemma leaned in for a final kiss of the night._

_However, as they got back on the road, Fitz reached out to place his hand affectionately on Jemma’s knee and it sent a zing through her legs. She realized she was still very aroused and decided to try and channel it in to a productive conversation._

_“Fitz have you been with anyone since you last got tested for STDs?”_

_His hand clenched on her knee._

_“No...have you?”_

_“No. Have you... have you been with anyone since we joined Coulson’s team?”_

_He gulped._

_“I - no, I mean, I haven’t - you know I haven’t - have...have you?”_

_“No.”_

_He felt a tiny sense of relief. He didn't think she’d been off hooking up between missions but, it felt good to know for sure._

_“I’m on long term birth control - I give myself a shot every three months.”_

_He nodded. This was officially awkward. But as he sat in the discomfort of the conversation he realized how luck he was. How enamored he was with this smart, odd, beautiful, matter-of-fact, enigma of a woman._

_“Do you have any other questions about protection, or precautions?”_

_He shook his head, smiling to himself as he brushed his thumb across her leg._

_She realized how dry her throat had become._

_“Okay. Good. I think that covers that. We should keep... talking - keep talking about what we’d like to do - together... and as we do that we know what we’re agreeing to. I...” her voice quieted as she chanced a quick look at him, “I don't want anything to...get in our way of enjoying ourselves with each other.”_

_Her cheeks were rouged as she watched the road again and Fitz bit his bottom lip. The idea of enjoying themselves with each other made his erection reintroduce itself and he shifted slightly uncomfortably. He was eager to get back to base and take care of the issue before bed._

_The base was very quiet when they returned and they were reminded that most of the team was gone as they entered, not having to take separate routes this time. They walked close together back to their rooms, their hands brushing lightly, and as they neared Jemma’s door, she kissed him surreptitiously._

_“Thank you for an amazing date.”_

_“Any time,” he pecked her quickly one last time and departed._

_Fitz walked the few feet back to his room in a daze and began to take off his watch & shoes when he was soon interrupted by his door opening behind him. His pulse raced at fear of an intruder and it calmed then ratcheted again when he came face to face with Jemma. _

_“I don't want the night to end.”_

_Had they not spent the last hour making out and talking in almost excruciating detail about their plans for sexual activity, Fitz might have been more unsure of her meaning. But in the moment he was precisely clear and the re-burgeoning tent in his pants took heed as he grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him - their lips colliding._

_They moved swiftly to the bed, their movements rushed, keyed up from all the foreplay. Neither of them spoke as they began removing each other’s shirts and pants._

_The lights were on and Fitz wondered if he should turn them off to better set the mood, but before he could ask, Jemma had nudged him on to the bed and was straddling him. The both of them in their underwear. Her bra and panties were simple - nude & navy - not lacy like an ad or black like Fitz had maybe imagined. _

_“Is this okay,” she asked, reaching around to take off her bra._

_“Yes,” he urged, his hands running up her thighs._

_She ground against him as he moved up her stomach and began to fondle her breasts, surging back towards her mouth and kissing her hungrily, his wet mouth trailing down to her nipples._

_“Yes,” she hissed, rocking against his hardness, as she held his head to her._

_“Jemma,” he gasped against her chest, “I need, we need to - if you want to,” he paused, taking a breath, “we should - I’m not going to l-l-l-last long,” he stuttered._

_She grabbed his face and leaned down to kiss him firm & fast, then scooched back off him. She maneuvered a bit creatively to pull down her underwear, and Fitz followed her lead as he harumphed up toward the head of the bed, shedding himself of the last of his own clothing _

_She slid a leg up over him again and positioned herself - and as her middle connected with, his, he nearly came._

_“Jemma,” he moaned._

_She took the notice and reached down, pulling him into her as they both elicited a sharp noise. Her forearms rested on his shoulders as she began to move, and Fitz was slack jawed again as his head rested against the headboard._

_It took him a moment to regather himself and fully acknowledge what was happening, and he willed himself to look up at her. Her eyes were closed as well as she moved on top of him with determination, and Fitz looked her up and down like he was seeing her for the first time. It was beyond erotic, her riding him, and he encouraged himself to enjoy it, palming both her breasts as he began thrusting up as well._

_Their motions were far from fluid, but they worked together silently, back and forth and Jemma opened her eyes eventually, staring down at him as he reached his mouth down to kiss her nipple again. She whimpered at the sensation and then moaned louder as he sucked it between his lips. It sent a bolt of pleasure through her and she clenched around him, as he groaned against her chest._

_He looked up to meet her eyes and they connected, wordless, both of them knowing the moment was fleeting. It was happening quickly and the thread ran away from them as they coupled fervently, but they didn't take their eyes of each other. There were not words to share and for those stolen moments time stood still until Fitz finally clenched his eyes shut, his release surging._

_“Jemma, Jemma, Jemma,” he stammered in his climax._

_He groaned out her name again as his forehead fell against her shoulder and she picked up pace, her fingers gripping him, thrusting herself more forcefully until she etched out her own brief orgasm with a short loud moan._

_She slowed right away, sinking on to him for a moment of rest, and her arms relaxed around his neck._

_“Fitz,” she sighed._

_He lifted his heavy head up, still catching his breath and looked at her, sated._

_He brought a hand up to her face and kissed her._

_“Jemma, I -”_

_“Oh, that was wonderful,” she breathed, opening her eyes and catching his gaze._

_She smiled at him and kissed him again, pulling back and sliding off him slowly, sitting next to him on the bed, both their backs against the headboard, both of them completely naked in the full light of his room._

_He was still a bit stunned, overcome with a myriad of feelings, one in particular that was making itself known in his chest._

_She began to sink down and he reached over and dimmed the large lamp on his side of the bed, casting a more gentle glow across the room and she sighed contentedly. He moved down the bed to join her and turned to his side, taking in the view._

_She grinned sleepily as she came down from her high and Fitz’s breathing regulated as he did the same. He reached out a hand towards her stomach, and she encouraged him, placing his palm on her abdomen, as she closed her eyes. He held it there for a minute and then began to brush it across her middle, schooching closer to her._

_“Did you enjoy that?” she asked casually, as he curled against her._

_“Yes. It was amazing,” he answered in earnest._

_“Good. I’m glad we’re clearly sexually compatible.”_

_He smiled - endearing, heartfelt._

_“That’s romantic,” he teased._

_She turned her head and caught his eye._

_“I’m sorry, I didn't mean to - Fitz...I’m so happy to be here, with, with you, like this. I was really looking forward to having sex with you and I really enjoyed it. I’m really glad you did too.”_

_“I did. I’m also really glad you did. Really. Really. Glad.”_

_He punctuated his last three words with kisses and pulled her in tighter, kissing under her jaw and up her cheek. She cuddled into his embrace and ran her hand up his arms, sighing like she’d been holding in a breath for days._

_He propped himself up on one elbow, surveying her as his hand ran lazily up and down her body and he shook his head slowly,_

_“God Jemma, you’re absolutely stunning.”_

_She was engulfed in an overwhelming and almost indescribable emotion._

_“Fitz, I...I...can I...I should...I get back to my bunk before sun up - but can I ...can I stay until then?”_

_“Of course.”_

_He kissed her again._

~~~  


 

“So we’ll go tell Coulson we’re in a romantic relationship then,” he nodded, becoming more and more pleased with the term.

A romantic relationship.

“Yes. Would you - do you, is that what you’d like?”

“I’d very much like to be in a romantic relationship with you. In fact, I am enjoying it quite a bit at the moment.”

His hand traveled up her thigh toward her bum and he leaned forward.

She grinned and waited for his next move.

“I like a lot of things about our romantic relationship,” he continued, leaning her back on to the bed, his hand up her shorts, cupping her backside.

“Oh really? Such as...”

She moved her arms up his back.

“I like being in this bed with you,” he told her as he kissed her throat.

She leaned her chin up, giving him space, and he pressed himself up with with his other hand, while it's partner moved back down her thigh.

“I like touching you,” he murmured, running it up the front of her shorts, under the edge of her panties and across her hip.

She relaxed her grip on him, giving him more space to maneuver.

“I like hearing you call it a romantic relationship,” he told her earnestly, the words against her collarbone, his accent thick.

“It suits us, doesn’t it?” she smiled.

“Mmmhmm,” he kissed down her cleavage and his hand moved up and to the band of her shorts.

They were laid out across the head of the bed, Fitz in his trousers and undershirt, and Jemma in a matching short sleeved pajama top and shorts.  

“I very much like being in a romantic relationship with you,” she said, her tone flirtatious.

“What else do you like?” he asked, slowly pulling her shorts away from her hip.

“I like your hands,” she told him, moving hers over top of his and then up to the top button of her shirt.

He smiled and snaked one across her stomach, pressing himself up on to his knees.

“I like being close to you, being together like this,” she said sincerely, looking up at him, as she continued to unbutton her top.

He looked down at her, his eyes full of desire and ardor. Fitz leaned down to kiss her, his tongue breaking in to her mouth, and his hand moved down the front of her shorts.

“Jemma,” he said in between his movements, “I love...I love being with you, like this.”

She reached to pull her own shorts down off her hips and his hand followed, pulling them far enough for her to kick them off to the side of the bed.

“Fitz, I love... this too, all of this with you,” she breathed against his mouth, fumbling at the rest of her buttons.

He tangled their tongues back together as he began stroking his hand up and down her crotch and kept himself aloft on one hand. 

Jemma succeeded in getting her shirt open and she moved her hands up his back to make progress on his.

He wasn’t much help as he continued kissing her, hungry for her mouth and her lips and her tongue. She participated fervently as they collided in each other’s mouths, urging the hem of his t-shirt up his back.

Finally he moved, sitting up on his knees just long enough to reach back and pull his shirt off by the collar, while Jemma struggled out of the sleeves of her pajama top. He helped her yank it off and collided with her mouth as he fell back down towards her, bracing himself on his palms on either side of her, running his lips down in a burning motion from her neck to her breasts, to her stomach.

Often, when they were together, he would linger there, making good use of his time at her chest, her torso, her nipples, her ribs, but tonight he was fervent, nipping lightly at her skin as he moved down toward her pelvis.

He barely stopped as he looked up, his forefinger on either side of her underwear, and the passion in his eyes was overwhelming. Jemma didn’t know what she’d done to deserve how much he wanted her.

She sighed in confirmation, her hand running across his shoulder.

He kissed her lower abdomen as he pulled down her underwear, and his mouth followed down her inner thigh as he cast them down her legs. He shifted as he moved again, pulling her more perpendicular on the bed, giving himself more room and she followed, repositioning herself.

He was so full of affection for her - so enamored to have this definition to their relationship. He was yearning to show her that regard, that infatuation, that...

He crashed back down to her, spreading her legs open and relished his mouth across her, her hips, her thighs, the crease of her legs. He kissed between her legs and she moaned, his hands coming up around each thigh, pulling her to him, as he began lapping at her voraciously.

It was primal and aching and delicious and Jemma moaned more loudly as she swung an arm over her mouth, biting against her own skin.

Fitz mouthed at her eagerly, his tongue a sacrament against her. She arched herself in to his mouth, as he savored her and began to take her apart.

She couldn’t speak, focused on her breathing, her jaw fixed against her forearm, drowning out her pleasure.

He was wordless too, concentrated, fervent, focused, as he brought his fingers in to her.

She yelped as he extended his reach, her other hand clawing at the bed spread.

“Fitz,” she cried softly, her body tensing, the pleasure almost too much to bear.

She lost sense of time as he lingered religiously in his attentions, grasping at her with his free hand, plunging in to her with the other, his mouth compulsive against her.

The radiating pleasure mounted as her vision began to blur and her pelvis pulsed as she panted toward her orgasm. It seared through her silently as she lost her breath and he coaxed her through it, slowing and stroking his hand down her thigh as he kept his mouth pressed against her for a moment. He made his way back up towards her slowly, his eyes roaming her body, and she licked her lips as she breathed heavily, her skin prickling with post-coital sensation.

“Jemma -” he breathed against her skin.

She didn't let him finish as she yanked his mouth to hers, pulling him on top of her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz & Simmons disagree on how to move forward.

**July 2015 - The Playground**

As Fitz got ready to slip back to his room in the early hours of the next morning, the two of them rustled up their plan to speak with Coulson after the AM briefing.

“So will simply tell him we’re - “

“ - in a romantic relationship - yes, and that it -”

“ - won’t affect our work and we’ll -”

“ -maintain professionalism in the lab and -”

“- on missions, exactly.”

Fitz scrunched his nose, a gesture Jemma had come to realize he used when he was placating her, and he kissed her as he finished pulling on the rest of his clothes. As he turned toward the door she said,

“I suppose we’ll document cohabitation as well. Perhaps we can request a larger room...or even think about...”

She trailed off as she noticed Fitz had frozen in front of her.

“You want to move in together?” he asked, wide-eyed.

Jemma stopped, realizing this was the first time they were talking about this variable of their equation

“Yes...I mean, I guess I assumed... we could still keep some things in another room or, storage, or - I mean, Bobbi & Hunter, they certainly...well, I mean, it’s, we’ve, you’ve been staying here every night and I...I’m sorry Fitz, I’ve gone about this all wrong,” she stumbled, bringing her hands up to his chest.

Jemma took a breath in & out and gathered her serenity.

“Do you want to move in with me?” she asked, her face steady & her eyes unsure

Fitz stalled.

He did want to move in together.

Of course he did.

How could he not?

He wanted to spend every moment of every day with her. He wanted to go to sleep together, and wake up in the morning, and remove this last obstacle of secrecy around their relationship. In fact he didn’t just want to move in to her room, he wanted to get an apartment with her. Perhaps even a house one day if he really let himself dream.

But another question was burning.

“I - shouldn’t we - should we, talk about it some more?”

“Of course,” Jemma backed up just slightly, “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to - well, we haven't really talked about that have we?”

“...no...not...not really...”

“Okay, well,” she looked up, beginning to tick off an invisible list in her head, “I think we should see if there’s a larger room and we could get a new bed, and decide what items we want to share - and we’d need a double dresser and probably a place to store all our books. Then probably in due time, we’d want to move off base, get an apartment, or a house, and...”

“Jemma, I - don't you think, we kind of...”

He squinted up up his courage and they were interrupted by a noise outside the door.

 

“ _Did you get Coulson’s message?_ ” they heard Mack’s booming voice ask.

“ _Yes. Why else do you think I’m up?_ ” Daisy’s muffled voice replied sleepily.

“ _Let’s go._ ”

 

They heard their two friends move swiftly with purpose and shared a look of disappointed agreement to continue their conversation later as they both went to their own phones.

 

> “Ward on the move. My office ASAP.”

___

 

9 minutes later they were all gathered in Coulson’s office reviewing intel from the mark Hunter & May had been trailing.

“Bout time that bugger took some action,” Hunter huffed.

Nobody paid him much attention as they watched the surveillance feed they had tapped in to from a security camera. The audio was garbled as the man spoke to another guy - surly, with a Liverpool accent.

Fitz was stood next to Jemma, his arms crossed in front of himself, as they all watched intently. As Ward came out from behind the shadows, he felt his fists clench and Jemma’s stance tightened next to him.

He didn’t have to look at her to know what she was feeling and he dropped his hands, seeking hers. The back of his hand brushed against hers and he felt her flinch. Fitz looked over to her, his hand spasming lightly, and her cheeks were flushed - her jaw clenched, with tears threatening her gaze. She still didn’t look at him, focused on the screen as the three men conversed about the weapons.

The audio was inconclusive and they were all silent as they watched a short interaction before the criminals disappeared from view. Daisy spoke up from where she had been looking down at a tablet.

“We're tracking all three vehicles. Ward is headed south and the other guy - goes by Kebo” she added, prompting his picture and details up in to the screen, “ - went north. Odds are Ward’s headed to the airport. Our mark is tagged and has a warrant out for skipping bail on a recent arrest. I just notified the local authorities,” she finished - finger pads furious across the screen.

Coulson responded immediately.

“May. Hunter. You're in the air. Get to Chicago as fast as you can. Mack, ready a tac team.”

“Wheels up in 10,” May directed to Hunter.

“Agent Morse & Agent Simmons you're running back end here. Fitz & Skye I need you on research. Flights in and out of O'Hare, any possible route Ward could be taking out of the city. We need to know any possible location he could be headed to and I need to you to figure out where he's going. Mack & I will take a four man team with Agents Davis & O’Brien to pick up Kebo...any questions?”

“It's Daisy, Sir" Bobbi responded.

Coulson sighed and looked at Daisy with a friendly apology.

The departing agents left the office with little conversation and Jemma, Bobbi, Daisy & Fitz remained. Simmons still had not looked at him and Daisy was staring at the device in her hands while Bobbi bristled at the large screen now showing an empty parking lot.

He realized suddenly the common denominator.

The four of them were Ward’s victims. They were the ones he had tortured, kidnapped, manipulated, and left for dead. The four he had left with the deepest scars.

Finally Daisy picked up her laptop and looked to Fitz.

“Let's use your station in the lab. Simmons & Bobbi can run comms from here.”

Fitz nodded. They’d need the full setup to start building an algorithm to find the most likely route for Ward. He & Daisy gathered up to head that way and he stopped, looking back at Jemma with a meaningful glance.

It was now clear that she was actively avoiding him and he was starting to get concerned...and frustrated.

“I’ll meet you there in a minute,” he told Daisy, his eyes not moving.

She glanced briefly at the tableau in front of her and then to Bobbi, who also took stock.

“I’ll come with you -  I need a couple things. Simmons I’ll be right back.”

She vaguely registered the statement and stayed rooted to the spot as the two women left the room in action.

Fitz watched her for a moment, waiting to see if her demeanor would change with the others gone and her body stayed still. Slowly he noticed that her chin was quivering and her fists were clenched. He looked to her face and saw her fighting off tears.

“Jemma,” he breathed out, reaching for her arm.

She pulled away, wrapping her arms around herself and it felt like she had lashed him.

His face was pained as he watched her still, wanting to do something...something to comfort her, something to remind her they were safe.

“Jemma, it’s okay - we’ll find him - we’ll...” he trailed off.

He didn’t exactly know what they would do. He didn’t know what he wanted to do.

He knew now what he had once denied - that Ward was evil. He knew that he fancied himself a broken man worthy of some sort of redemption. He knew that he was a psychopath and a murderer that had kidnapped Bobbi so that he could torture and kill her.

He knew Jemma had tried to kill him - and he had let her live to tell the tale. He had hurt May and saved Daisy and was, as far as they could tell, trying to re-form Hydra. He knew what they had to do and he just wanted it to be done. He wanted that part of their lives to be behind them.

He took a deep breath.

“Jemma. We’re going to find him and ....we’ll end this. May & Hunter will get him and this will be done with. He won’t...” Fitz reached out, tentatively resting his hand on her shoulder, “ - he won’t have this...this...we can forget about him - we can -”

“I can’t forget Fitz,” she finally said, her voice breaking, “I can't forget what he did to Bobbi. He tortured her and he tried to kill her. All for some sick sort of revenge. He's murdered dozens of agents. He shot Agent Hand in the head. He strangled Agent Koenig to death just because he was in the way. He...”

She cut herself off as her lip began to tremble again but her jaw stayed strong. She watched his eyes began to shimmer as they finished her sentence together in silence.

“I know Jemma - I know we both...” he couldn’t find the words, “I know we both...want him gone.”

“Do you?” she asked.

His brow furrowed and she looked at him pointedly.

“We have another chance Fitz. To put him down. I need you to ... I need to know if you - are you with us on this - with me?”

“...I - I am...I...”

He knew they didn’t see exactly eye to eye on this and he didn’t want it to be a thing that came between them.

“Jemma - I told you that - I wanted him dead too. You know that I - just because I’m not -”

“Not what?”

Her eyes were fire. She was out for blood.

Fitz shook his head.

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to fight about this Jemma - I just want it to be over.”

His expression was tired. He didn’t want to hold on to this anymore... but he could see that she did. She was single minded in her anger and there was only one place for her to direct it at the moment.

“I don’t see how you...” she began with measure, “How can you - you _should_ want to fight about it!," her tone heightened, "How can you be so calm? He tried to kill us Fitz!”

“Do you think I don’t remember that? That I forgot what he did to me? I’ll never...you kn...kn...kn...you...” his face scrunched up and he anchored his fingers to the pressure point of his nose.

Fitz’s frustration bubbled through him, the fingers of his loose hand twitching irritably at his side and Jemma gasped in a choked sob.

“Fitz, I -” she reached for him and they were interrupted by Bobbi’s voice coming down the hall.

He recoiled in a quick attempt to steady himself and Jemma turned away immediately, facing the window as she flicked the tears from her eyes.

“Fitz, Daisy needs you downstairs, she -” Bobbi stopped in the doorway, the air thick.

“On my way,” Fitz said through clenched teeth.

He didn’t spare a glance back as he left the room and Bobbi moved as he slid past her swiftly.

Jemma’s back remained to her, tensed & hunched as she absorbed another cry.

 

~~~

 

 

_He had to say something_

_He knew he had to say something to her as soon as he returned._

_The sound of her voice echoed in his head as he clamored through the hallway and in to the Quinjet._

“Maybe there is”

_The look on her face and the feel of her fingertips pressed against his wrist swam in his memory._

_Maybe there is...what? Maybe there is... more?_

_More to talk about?_

_Maybe there was something to talk about..._

_In the moment it had felt clear...but now he questioned it._

_What did it mean?_

_What did she want to talk about?_

_He fought every urge to turn around and bolt back to the locker room and..._

_..and what?_

_His feet made their way through the hangar and he couldn’t fight the urge to turn around, wondering for a split second if she had followed._

_Maybe she would..._

_Maybe should would chase after him and say...something. Maybe she would follow him and tell him everything he wanted to hear before he got on the plane._

_But he knew that was too much to hope for._

_He followed Coulson on to the Quinjet and took a seat at the monitor - watching as the landing gear closed, and hoping with everything that he had that he would be back to finish their conversation soon._

~~~

 

Jemma composed herself as she turned back to Bobbi, ready to get on with the mission.

“Let’s get to work,” she said, taking a deep breath, and picking up the tablet on Coulson’s desk.

Bobbi took the hint and jumped in to action with her.

“I’ll get comms up,” she said, pulling up multiple screens, where each of their team members communication devices were registering.

“Hunter & May are in one of the Quinjets and Coulson & Mack are gathering their team Zephyr One.”

 

“ _Change of plans_ ,” they heard Daisy say, “ _Coulson, Fitz is headed your way. We have a good lead - Warren Von Strucker, son of Baron Von Strucker. He’s in California - and Kebo is on a flight headed to Orange County from Chicago in two hours. You should be able to intercept it when it lands. I’ll keep running additional simulations - Fitz will go with you so we can tag-team in case you need to change course quickly_.”

 

Jemma’s head whipped towards the door.

He couldn’t go.

Not like this.

 

“Go,” Bobbi insisted

Jemma barely spared her a glance as she flew out the door, her cardigan fluttering behind her as she trotted down the stairs and toward locker room.

 

~~~

 

_Jemma’s feet moved her unwittingly toward the locker room._

_She had to find him._

_Her heart pounded in her ears as the adrenaline rush that had carried her through Bobbi’s surgery coursed through her still and she came to a halt as she landed in the doorway._

_“You’ll be careful...” she said - more a plea than a question._

_Her nerves gave way immediately and her fingers were worried fists at her sides as she fidgeted between two feet._

_Fitz barely glanced at her before going back to his pack, his voice was focused - and mildly irritated._

_“I won’t be careful. I’ll get the job done.”_

_“Well, watch your back, because,” Jemma began, her legs carrying her toward him of their own accord again, “I just saw Hunter with Bobbi and it made me realize that...”_

_She had no idea what to say. She was barely clear on what it had made her realize._

_“Well - it's just that...”_

_That what...? That she needed to talk to him? To tell him...something. Tell him something she had wanted to say ever since their darkest moment at the bottom of the ocean..._

_“We never really spoke about...what you said to me at the bottom of the ocean.”_

_They both froze as the last part of the sentence rushed together in a cascade from her lips._

_There it was. The topic they’d avoided for months._

_Fitz looked at her incredulously. He couldn’t believe her timing._

_“This? Now?”_

_Jemma’s face fell slightly at his tone._

_“You want to talk about this now?”_

_Her eyes watered at the irritation in his voice and the ache in her chest compounded as he nearly sighed, continuing to pack his bag._

_“No...” she lied, waving a hand and forcing out an inauthentic chuckle._

_He paid her no attention as he zipped his bag._

_“We, we don’t - um,” she tried to re-compose her thoughts._

_“It...means a lot to me that we’re friends again and, I, um...”_

_Fitz’s back to her spoke volumes and her voice thinned as she choked out the rest of her words, forcing herself through the discomfort while he silently checked the cartridge of his gun._

_“Maybe when you get back, we could finally just...talk about it.”_

_Her words were strained and her faced was scrunched - pained at the discomfort between them. She had no idea what she was doing, but she knew she had to say something. She had to tell him something._

_Fitz sighed as he turned around, unready and unwilling to drag this subject back up._

_“It's...” he breathed out wearily._

_He couldn’t do this._

_Not now. He didn’t have the energy._

_He couldn't listen to her tell him how much she valued him, how much he mattered to her. He didn’t have the time for whatever kind of warm and gentle way she planned to tell him that she didn’t want to ruin their friendship._

_She watched patiently as he spoke, unable to look up at her. The pain in his voice, and his avoidance of the subject, gave her a strange sliver of hope that he might still feel some bit of what he’d confessed to her nearly a year ago._

_“There’s nothing to discuss Jemma,” he threw out as he started to make his way to the door._

_She froze for a split second, almost ready to to let him leave, but she remembered the last time he’d had the last word and she wouldn't let him go without some sort of acknowledgement._

_Her body moved again before she could tell it what to do, reaching out to grab for any part of him that would hold him back. She caught his wrist, sliding down to grab his hand and he stopped immediately, looking at her with confusion & surprise. _

_Something about the look on his face, and his pulse racing under her fingertips, gave her a tiny moment of happiness and her eyes smiled as she looked at him, almost pleading._

_“Maybe there is.”_

_Fitz was stunned with hope. He stepped back towards her, his mouth opening and -_

 

_“Agent Fitz we’re on the move,”_

 

_Coulson stopped only for a moment as he headed toward the hangar and Fitz turned towards his name, the moment lost. Jemma’s face fell as he paused for a second and she knew not to look back up at him. He was out the door before she had the will to let go and she turned away, the cold air of his exit against her back._

_She cried through a shuddering breath as tears fell thickly down her cheeks and she wrapped her arms around herself before falling onto the bench, her hand on her mouth, willing her sobs to stay inside of her._

_He was gone. Again._

_She had tried to say something - anything._

_Had it been enough?_

_She had no idea what was in store for him on The Iliad. They were outnumbered and over-powered and she knew there was a chance it was the last time she’d see him._

_Had it been enough to show the universe that she needed him? That she needed him to return to her safely?_

_She stilled herself against the silence that responded to her question._

 

~~~

 

She careened into the room and stopped short inside the door.

“Fitz,” she breathed.

“Jemma,” he looked up, relieved, and they collided into an embrace.

“You don’t have to do this,” she said, her arms under his.

“I do,” he said softly, holding her into his chest, “I meant what I said - I want this behind us. I won’t let him take anything else from us.”

He pulled back and looked down at her. She gazed up at him.

“He almost took you away from me and I’ll never -”

He leaned down to kiss her softly and it was brazen & reckless for them to be so publicly affectionate but it barely mattered anymore.

They both closed their eyes for a moment and the tension subsided in to quiet affection. Fitz held her tight and felt the familiar and overwhelming rush of emotion that had become his new norm.

He loved her - and he had to say it...but not like this. Not in yet another moment of desperate confession.

He pulled back, looking down at her again, and settled for something else.

“I suppose if Daisy walked in right now the cat would really be out of the bag, huh?”

She smiled weakly and he put his forehead down to hers.

“Come back to me,” she told him with gentle desperation.

He kissed her forehead and parted their embrace.

She was stilled again with an all too well-known feeling of dread as his hand moved softly down her arm to grasp hers. Her eyes plead with him not to go and she thumbed her finger across his, a familiar expression in her eyes.

“I’ll be careful,” he told her.

She smiled bigger this time and reached her mouth up to his for a quick, soft, expression.

“You promise?”

“I promise,” he nodded, cupping his hand around the back of her ear.

She watched him go with an eerie ache in her stomach and a gnawing pressure on her chest.

He was her whole world and she loved him in a way she could barely wrap her mind around.

 

~~~

 

_Jemma rushed through the lab as the team secured Bobbi into a recovery bed in quarantine and re-prepped the main area for surgery. She fought back fatigue as she shook her head at the circumstance. She had always been the black sheep of her family having avoided going in to medicine as a practice and yet - here she was - again._

_She was thankful for the team of medics & surgeons that they had repopulated the team with as Coulson had rebuilt SHIELD, yet, even as one of the youngest on the team, she was still in the constant position of leading their trauma unit to expediently prepare for the worst while she willed herself to hope for the best. _

_Despite the overwhelming responsibility, she was happy to be taking action. The last few hours had been torture, waiting for news of the team’s mission. Not knowing if everyone was okay, what was happening on the aircraft carrier, and worrying herself sick about Fitz._

_Fitz._

_She had checked in on Bobbi several times, keeping herself busy - and it was work enough now to be outfitting the lab for another surgery._

_The call had been brief. Coulson was injured. His hand had been cut off._

_Mack had spoken in short sentences._

_They had made a quick tourniquet to slow the bleeding and he was on his way back with Coulson, May, Daisy & Fitz. _

_...what if it had been Fitz?_

_She shook her head again, admonishing herself slightly, as she she recited the protocols & sifted through her catalog of information about nerve preservation in amputees in her head. _

_Her evenings during her time at Hydra had been spent advancing her suturing skills and her surgical knowledge. After what the team had been through the previous year, she had known she needed to be much more adept at trauma surgery & field medicine. She knew she could help them more - not just by helping to take down Hydra from within, but by making sure that she would be able to save the next person who was hurt. _

_She had to be prepared._

 

~~~

 

_“It's done.”_

 

Jemma sat next to Bobbi & Daisy in Coulson’s office, May’s voice ringing in her ears.

Coulson’s team had caught up with Kebo quickly and he had given up Ward right away. He was in custody and had pointed Hunter & May toward Chicago, where Ward was still on the ground, May explained tersely.

Hunter gave a bit more color.

_“We thought he’d try to pull a stunt like he did at that bus station last year - sure enough he got flagged by Chicago PD and they tried to arrest him at a bank. He was trying to get in to one of Strucker’s safety deposit boxes. He took down three guards before they tased him. We got there as they were bringing him out and he went for one of the officers guns, and -”_

 

 _“- it’s done,”_ May repeated.

___

 

Fitz’s eyes were bleary as he walked behind Mack down the dormitory corridor, and he didn’t think twice as he stopped at Jemma’s room. Mack barely acknowledged the move as he stopped at his own door, giving Fitz a nod.

He sighed at how laughably their secret had unraveled and he punched in the key code, opening the door into a brightly lit room.

She was tucked in bed, wearing one of his cardigans, with her tablet in her lap and her head slumped back, half asleep. He immediately flicked off the overhead light - the small blue light from the bathroom giving some illumination - and shrugged his gear on to the floor as he stripped down to his underclothes.

Fitz walked toward the bed and pulled up the covers, sliding in next to her as he placed his hand gently on her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open easily from her light sleep and she took him in.

“Fitz,” she said quietly, her eyes barely opened.

He laid down, coaxing her in to his side, and she leaned in to him, the electronic falling between them. He pulled it away and set it on the side table as her head fell onto his shoulder and Fitz held her tight as he placed a kiss on her head.

“It’s over,” he whispered.

She took a deep breath and sighed, “I know.”

She mumbled something else resembling ‘I missed you’ as sleep overtook her and Fitz kissed her head again, an aching wave crashing through him.

“I love you,” he mouthed inaudibly against her hair, his eyes fluttering closed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FitzSimmons try to say those three little words.

**July 2015 - The Playground**

The base was quiet the next morning, with a seemingly unanimous decision amongst the team that they had earned a lie in. Fitz awoke first, and the feeling of Jemma’s hand on his chest was comforting as he laid his own on top of it. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath, deciding if he might go back to sleep, then peeked open to eye the clock. It was nearly mid-day and he decided he would rather enjoy at least a little time with his...romantic partner...before someone went looking for either of them. He pulled Jemma’s hand to his mouth and kissed it as he looked down at her sleeping face.

She was perfect.

A part of him still couldn’t believe that they were together like this. He knew he didn’t deserve her. That she could have anyone, and he... he also knew that she wanted him. He couldn’t quite explain it, and perhaps he would never completely believe it - but he knew it was true.

She wanted him.

She cared for him deeply - she wanted to be with him. Wanted to move in together.

She - 

Jemma’s sigh broke his train of thought.

He leaned down to kiss her hand again, then the top of her head, and she looked up at him, eyes sleepy & smile serene.

She was perfect.

“Morning,” he said, followed by a closed mouth grin.

“Morning,” the corners of her mouth turned up.

He reached down to kiss her nose and she smiled.

“What time is it?”

“Half past 11,” he answered, playing with her fingers on his chest.

“Fitz!” she gasped, “we need to get up, you need to get out of here - we need to figure out how to -” she stopped herself, “Oh.”

She blushed as her adrenaline ratcheted back down and Fitz looked at her curiously.

“I guess we - well, we never did get a chance to finish our conversation yesterday, did we?”

“We have a long history of unfinished conversations,” he smiled, an indistinct melancholy behind his eyes, picking up her fingers and bringing them to his lips.

“Fitz...”

He rolled on to his side, facing her, and snaked his arm over her side.

“Jemma, this might be the last morning off we get for...well...ever - do you think - for the time being...can we just...”

“...not talk?” she finished.

His eyes were full of things she wanted to hear him say, but she knew that gaze - he wanted to show her, not tell her, what he was feeling.

Fitz smiled and nodded as his fingers moved up to the lapels of his navy blue cardigan over her shoulders, and his face moved down to sweep his nose and lips across her sternum.

“I am glad you’re home safe,” she said, bringing her hand up behind his neck, brushing her lips against the top of his head.

He mumbled in agreement and pushed the strap of her tank top to the side, nuzzling his face further down, as one of his hands came up, thumbing across her nipple.

“I missed you,” she continued.

He pressed his mouth against her skin in answer, pulling her tank top down, and kneading her naked breast, as his tongue slid down to its peak.

“Fitz, I -”

He didn’t let her continue, kissing quickly up her neck and colliding with her mouth, and she followed his lead, pressing the words she wanted to say against his lips.

Jemma grabbed his face, pulling him on top of her, and immediately Fitz began scrambling to get their clothes off, yanking at both of their bottoms somewhat ineffectively. She raised up her bum just enough for him pull down her shorts and underwear, and they were barely all the way down her legs by the time he moved his boxer briefs enough to release himself.

Their mouths crashed back together as Jemma writhed underneath him, trying to free herself, and she giggled. He huffed a chuckle as he kissed down her chest again, running his hands down to her hips and pulling her thighs up. It was less than perfect, but right now it didn't matter.

Fitz angled himself in to her and Jemma moaned as she immediately began rocking, his pelvis pressing against hers as he moved shallow inside of her. Her arms were loose around his back - his cardigan hanging partially off her shoulders - and his face stayed dipped at her chest, sucking at her skin. Their movements were both languid & fervent, and Jemma closed her eyes as she took him in.

They were quiet as they moved - soft sighs and supple moans - and as they found a consistent pace, Jemma anchored her ankles gently behind Fitz’s knees while he pressed up slightly, thrusting more deeply. She moaned sharply at the change and smiled, her eyes fluttering open as they caught his and he grinned through the grimace of his physical exertion.

“Jemma,” he panted.

“Fitz,” she sighed, her head falling back.

He picked up pace again and huffed as he searched for the thread of his orgasm.

“Faster,” Jemma urged him, knowing they both needed it.

Fitz shifted position slightly and began a more staccato beat. They both groaned the chorus of their shared sweet spot and she angled herself up towards him, countering against his rhythm. He began repeating her name, a clear sign that he was close to the edge.

“Yes, yes ... yes,” she replied, not letting up.

He continued, his head hung low, as he began to lose energy, and she pressed her mouth against his neck.

“Fitz, yes, keep going,”

His eyes tensed as he focused, feeling his limbs become heavy as his release mounted. She pulled him into her more deeply, clutching at the t-shirt he still had on, as they both fought to keep their pace and Fitz throttled as he felt her start to clench around him.

“Oh god, Jemma, Jemma.”

“Don't stop,” she panted.

He forced himself to continue as he began to finish and finally he felt her follow him. She cried out against his neck and he spasmed as the aftershocks hit him, her teeth and tongue sharp on his sensitive skin.

He exhaled, his dry mouth pressed against her shoulder and his lips turned to a grin as he acknowledged that she still had his cardigan on. He moved from her, kissing her bare skin again, and sat up, peeling off his t-shirt, and pulling his shorts the rest of the way off.

She followed suit, leaning up just enough to get the sweater and camisole off with his help, and they fell back down, Fitz mostly on top of her. He immediately rested his face between her breasts, kissing at her lovingly, as Jemma ran her hand through the back of his hair in affectionate motion. She sighed with content as his breathe relaxed against her skin and the feeling of their legs, tangled together, comforted her.

Her hands moved to his upper back, holding him to her and she murmured,

“I’m so glad you’re safe.”

He stilled, his hand on her side, and he turned his face out as he ran his knuckles gently up and down her curves.

“It was fine. I barely - I didn’t even leave the plane.”

She said nothing but pulled him tighter against her.

Fitz sighed as he brought his lingering hand behind her back and kissed her rib cage, and as he felt her chuckle at the tickle, he pressed his stubble against her skin.

Her hand threaded back in to his hair and he was familiar with the gesture. Fitz mouthed at the underside of her breast and she felt a sharp new shot of heat through her thighs. Jemma sucked in a soft breath and he grazed his teeth along her ribs.

She bit down on her bottom lip as she clenched and squeezed the back of his neck at the pulse in her groin. The lingering pins and needles of her orgasm fizzled through her legs and somehow Fitz felt it too.

“Jemma,” he groaned against her skin.

Her hips bucked up immediately and she moaned.

His hands moved to her hip as he kissed across her stomach and she began to pant. Their burst of lovemaking had been quick and penetrative and she was ready for him to touch her. As his palm dragged down her thigh, she whined, and Fitz scrunched his face as he pressed his lips against her skin, his hand skating down to cup her.

Her high pitched mewl continued, and he pressed two digits against her heat. Jemma shuddered immediately, a heady and overwhelming pleasure overtaking her, and Fitz re positioned himself, moving to her side, and sucking at her nipple as the pads of his fingers began rolling around her peak.

Her breathing was short & shallow as he continued, and she squeezed her hand in a fist behind his neck as the other clung at the bed linens. Jemma’s toes curled as he nibbled at her breast and she panted. Her words were few as he continued with a pressure and speed that he knew she favored and his other hand gripped wonderfully against her hip, his thumb wandering across the sensitive crease of her thigh.

She moaned again, her legs opening wider, and he moved his fingers down, sweeping them in to her, circling them around her walls as his thumb took up upon her clit. A striking wave of pleasure hit her as her legs twitched and she grabbed at the bed on either side of her as she cried out softly.

He breathed heavy against her skin as he focused, pressing his tongue and lips to her torso sporadically, and Jemma stilled as his hand worked at her gratification.

Her noises were wordless and keening and he knew she was close again. He delighted in how familiar he’d become with the signs of her pleasure and sweat shined across his brow as he continued, content in her enjoyment.

“Oh Fitz,” she whispered as the mounting satisfaction traveled up her legs and to her groin.

He moved deeper inside of her and thrummed his fingers against all of her most sensitive areas while she thrust against his hand as her body tightened with climax.

Her orgasm rang through her limbs and he finished slowly, kissing her stomach and her chest as he moved back up her body, bringing his mouth to her neck, running his hand affectionately up her side. Her head fell to meet his face as his lips brushed across hers, and she pressed her mouth in for a firm kiss.

 

~~~

 

_“Wow,” Fitz said incredulously as he fell back against her headboard, Jemma rested on top of him._

_“Mmmmhmmm...” she responded, her hands running down his chest._

_“I can’t believe we haven’t been doing this for years,” he shook his head, bringing his palm up her back._

_She laughed slightly and ran her fingers down his hip and across his bum._

_“I don’t think it would have been very comfortable trying to have a go in one of our twin beds at the Academy.”_

_“I suppose not - and the Bus wasn’t really a great place for...”_

_“Extracurricular activities?”_

_Fitz chuckled silently and she looked up at him with a smile. He pressed his lips to hers and she angled her neck up to deepen the kiss._

_As they parted, she re-positioned herself to set her head on her crossed arms atop his chest, one leg hiked over his, and Fitz pulled one arm up behind his head as the other cradled her._

_“Really Fitz, that was extraordinary,” she told him, kissing his chest._

_Affection blossomed out from the spot where her lips pressed against his sternum, and he was struck with the science of it all. He knew enough about anatomy from his own undergrad studies and years by Jemma’s side, to understand the reaction he was having to their post-coital bliss, but this was more than that._

_As always, she was a step ahead of him._

_“Fitz, I want you to know I - this is...it’s wonderful. Us. Together. Like this. I...this means a lot to me, and you -” she looked in to his bright blue eyes and the way he gazed back at her was overwhelming._

_“Jemma, I -”_

_“You mean the world to me Fitz. You always have and you always will and I’m...” tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, “I’m so happy with you.”_

_Fitz looked at her like she had told him the secret to the universe, and his breath caught as he bit his bottom lip, holding back the emotion welling inside of him._

_“You don’t have to say anything if you -”_

_“Jemma,” his voice was aching as he fought for the right words._

_She smiled sweetly and kissed him softly._

_“I feel the same way,” he whispered, as her mouth parted from his._

_Her eyes shined with the glistening of her joy and she kissed his cheek._ _They stared at each other for a moment and her smile grew as his awed gaze continued._

_“Jemma, I - you - you...” he gulped, still struggling._

_She kissed him again, slowly, leaning up, with her hand on his cheek, and when she pulled back she tucked her head against his chest, looking up at him as she snuggled in, pulling the covers over them._

_Her gaze was open, but not expectant, inviting him to share more if he wanted. The weeks that they’d been together had given them an opportunity to find techniques that worked for them when Fitz had a hard time with words. Jemma had realized, as they had put back together their friendship and begun this new phase of their relationship, that it meant a lot when she stayed connected, but didn’t push._

_“You are...Jemma - you’re perfect.”_

_Her eyes fluttered closed as tears threatened softly._

_She knew he revered her - and that she was the most important person in his life, same as he was to her. But she couldn’t help the near constant needling guilt of all the ways she had done him wrong that he seemed to be able to overlook._ _She looked back up at him, his own eyes shimmering._

_“Thank you Fitz - I...thank you.”_

 

_~~~_

 

They languished in Jemma’s bed as their lust subsided and she ran a hand happily across the nape of his neck, his body resting comfortably on top of hers.

“Your hairs getting longer,” she said affectionately, feeling the tufts peak through her fingers.

“Yeah - 'spose I haven't had a good haircut or a shave in a bit.”

“I quite like it,” she smiled.

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

He smiled and ran his hand up her arm and across her shoulder to her own hair.

“I don’t think I ever told you I like you haircut.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” he said, pulling a lock between his fingers, “It reminds me of when - when we first met...”

She smiled at his wistful tone and then she began to giggle.

“Oh goodness, my hair was so short - and yours was so long - and those bangs...”

“Which one of us?” Fitz laughed along.

She chuckled even more.

“I was so surprised when you came back the next year with it all shorn off.”

“I think we can both agree that was for the best though...only ever started to grow it again because you said you wanted to know what it looked like curly,” he said, propping himself up on an elbow.

“You did?”

Somehow, despite them being naked in bed together, this admission made her blush.

He cast his chin down, looking at her with his eyebrows up and she continued.

“Fitz, that was years ago - we must have been barely twenty?”

“Jemma...” he rolled his eyes, “your opinion has always been the only one that mattered.”

He said it so matter of fact and she was struck by a pang in her chest.

“We need to get up.”

“What?”

“I want to tell Coulson. I want to go request a larger room.”

She kissed him swiftly and began to dress quickly.

Fitz followed suit begrudgingly, and as he sat up, realized how late into the afternoon it had become and how hungry he was getting.

“Alright - but, can we eat first?”

She handed him his pants and trousers and he drug his shirt over his head as she pulled on jeans and socks, handing him a pair.

“Well, let’s see where Coulson is. I’d like to talk to him first if he’s available - get it done with.”

She began looking for shoes and Fitz blanched at her choice of words. He stopped as he pulled on the black slacks he had been wearing the night before and took in a deep breath.

“Jemma - I think we should slow down.”

She looked up from the buttons on her blouse and eyed him with confusion.

“What? Why?”

He sighed. He didn't want to do this.

“It just - it doesn’t...it doesn't feel like you - Jemma, we don’t have to rush this.”

“Fitz - it's been three months. Yesterday we...did you change your mind?”

He let out another breath.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

He sat back down on the bed, stealing himself.

“Jemma...”

“Yes?”

She was beginning to get agitated.

“Don’t you think we...we kinds of missed a...an important...”

His stomach dropped and he looked up at her, clenching his jaw against the impending nerves.

“We... we’re talking about moving in together and telling everyone that we’re in a relationship, and we...we haven’t...Jemma...” he took another deep breath, “why haven’t either of us told the other ‘I love you’ yet?

She was silent, words caught in her dry throat as she tried to answer, and Fitz’s heart sank at each passing moment that she didn't respond.

“I don’t...I suppose...I don’t...I don’t know.”

“Please don't...” he implored, anguish growing on his face,“...just...be honest with me."

“I...I am, I don’t...I don’t know how to answer that question Fitz.”

“Do you...do you want to say it?” he asked, looking down at the ground.

She was stood still, her arms crossing over her middle, an uncomfortable ache welling inside of her.

“I - I - I - yes.”

He grimaced at her hesitation.

“Fitz,” she tried to recover, taking a step toward him, “Yes, I want to, of course, I - well, I - why haven’t you said anything?”

She flinched as she changed course, her defense mounting without her explicit intention.

“Jemma,” he looked up at her, imploring, “...you know how I feel about you...”

“Well I feel the same way!”

“...then why can’t you say it?”

Her brow furrowed in anguish at his tone of voice, but her defensive mechanisms spurred her on.

“You haven’t either,” she reminded him.

“I’ve nearly said it a dozen times!”

“Such as?”  


~~~

 

_“Hey,” he said inconspicuously, standing behind her at the kitchen counter, “Do you think you could grab a couple beers and get them up to the roof without anyone noticing? I’ll bring the pizza.”_

_It was a late night, with most of the team having returned from seeking out a potential new inhuman, and someone had ordered pizza. She nodded without a word and he pulled a number of slices on to paper plates as she moved to the refrigerator, getting beers out._

_“I’m going to see if anyone in the lab wants one,” Jemma said unnecessarily loudly to no one in particular._

_Fitz flinched at the ridiculous fib. Jemma would never encourage anyone to drink alcohol in the lab. He smirked to himself as he wandered out of the room a few moments after her._

_____

 

_“Cheers,” they said in unison as they clinked their beer bottles together, seated next to each other on the cooling concrete of their building’s rooftop._

_“Any news from the mission?” Fitz asked her as he took a sip._

_“They didn’t catch him - or, rather, find him,” she corrected herself._

_He gave her a small smile, acknowledging her choice of words, and Jemma continued._

_“Daisy said she thinks it's the same guy as before - sounds like they might head out again if they can get a lead on him - oh no!”_

_“What? What’s wrong?”_

_“We’re all supposed to go mini-golfing - we can’t cancel!”_

_A rush of adoration knocked through his system and he held back his grin._

_“I supposed we can still go - there’s a non-refundable deposit and we’d need to-”_

_She was interrupted when he leaned down to kiss her._

_“What was that for?”_

_The pulsing in Fitz’s chest wanted to answer for him but everything in his head told him it was too soon._

_“No reason,” he smiled, kissing her nose._

 

_~~~_

 

“Are you really going to make me give you a list?”

Fitz was starting to anger, but above all else, the hurt in his voice grew stronger.

“Not if you don’t want to I suppose. But if that’s true then why haven't you said it?”

“Jemma, you know why.”

“What? How could I?”

Her frustration was mounting. As upset as he was that she hadn’t said it, he seemed to be quite avoiding it himself.

“I was...I was waiting for you,” he sighed.

“What? Why?”

“Because, I - Jemma...”

He didn't even have the courage to explain. To tell her how unsure a part of him was. He wasn’t proud of it, but somewhere deep down inside he felt like he needed her to say it first.

“Fitz, why...” her voice broke as her worst suspicions started to take hold.

“I...you know that, that I - you know that...you know that I...dammit, because it's like you said isn’t it?”

He stood up and flailed out one of his arms, searching for her understanding.

“Fitz, I’m sorry, I don’t...”

“We’re Amy & Rory aren't we?”

“What?”

He stood up in his trousers & t-shirt, and took a turn around the side of her bed as he ran his fingers across his brow and pinched the bridge of his nose, a headache coming on.

“Dammit. Like the show! Like you said, if anything we’re Amy & Rory.”

She remembered vaguely on off-hand remark about companions & Dr. Who, but she was confused.

“Oh Fitz, that was a bad joke, I didn’t -”

“Jemma.”

His tone was imploring.

“It took...years... for either one of us to even look at each other as anything more than a friend. Then here I am for the better part of a year - and you didn't even have the inkling that...I’m sorry it's ridiculous, but it's like the series, isn’t it, if there’s one of us that’s more in love...”

He didn't finish his sentence, his hands on his hips as his gaze fell to the ground.

“How could you say that?”

After everything. After weeks of intimacy, and honesty, and sharing everything - sharing a bed. How could he think she didn’t love him as much as he loved her.

He mumbled something, not looking up at her.

“Fitz...I didn’t, I didn’t want to - it's been, we...”

She couldn't get any suitable explanation out.

Yes, he was right, she hadn’t said as much...but neither had he. With everything new between them she didn’t want to put too much pressure on what they had. They hadn't even been able to come up with a suitable name for what they should call each other to other people until recently.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he took a breath, “I know that you care about me, and if I...” he closed his eyes as he took a breath, “if that means that you need time, or, if I..."

“No! I don’t need - Fitz, you’re not - please, just, please...” she reached out at him and took his hand, “please, just let me explain.”

He smiled at her sadly.

“Jemma, you don’t have to explain - it’s okay if - I know it's a stupid analogy, but it's okay if...if I feel more strongly about you that you do about me, it’s okay. It’ll be okay.”

“Fitz! No! That’s not what this is - and clearly you don’t remember the series very well!”

“What?”

She dropped his hand, gesturing her agitation, her voice raising.

“Amy & Rory! If you're so sure that we’re like them, then think about it. Think about her and how she felt about him. Fitz I do - I do feel everything you feel. I do and I just need you to understand that I-”

“Oh I suppose now you're going to say you didn’t ditch me, you gave me up?”

 

~~~

 

_She was gone._

_She wasn't coming back. Or maybe she was - he didn’t know._

_Coulson had left him there, with so little to go on he might as well have said nothing at all._

_He didn’t even know where she was. Had she gone back to Sheffield? Was she staying there?_

_He could call her. He could call her parents. He could..._

_...but what did it matter if she didn't want to talk to him._

_Not long after she’d taken him out to dinner, she’d told him she was going to go see her parents over her birthday. That had been nine days ago._

_She’d not even left him as much as a note._

_He grimaced thinking of the video he’d sent her. He angered at Coulson, playing along, singing happy birthday while he held the TARDIS cake, all the while knowing it was a charade._

_His hand shook and somewhere in the back of his head he could swear he heard her voice._

 

~~~

 

Every insecurity that he had about their relationship, every sliver of anger that still lingered at her absence reeled up to lash out at her.

She knew his temper, and saw his fist clench as he eyed the door.

“I supposed if you walk out now then we’re even,” she bit back.

“What?”

“If you really want to hurt me, the way I hurt you, then-”

“You think that I...that I want to hurt you? Why...how could I - after everything we’ve...how could you think that?”

The ache in his voice was devastating.

“You just said it. I ditched you. I gave...I gave up on you...I...” she faltered as tears dropped down her cheeks, “Fitz, how could you....how can you even - you should...you should want to get back at me.”

His entire stature dropped.

“Jemma...no. Never.”

They looked at each other - across the room that had up until a few minutes ago been their peaceful haven. Jemma finally spoke.

“But you think I don’t love you?”

“Because you haven’t said it! It took a year, Jemma, for you to...say something...that you felt...something - that there was something more, and it doesn’t...it - it makes hard to be in this...relationship...when I am not sure if we’re...if you’ve...c-c-c-caught up with me.”

“What would I catch up with - you haven’t said it either!”

“Because I was waiting! I...I needed to know you - I...I can’t put myself out there again, without...”

“You don’t trust me.”

She had been right all along. He was still angry with her. Of course he was. He didn't trust her with his heart - how could he?

“That’s not what I said.”

“But you still think I ditched you.”

“No, I didn’t mean that - I was, I was just -”

“Fitz how can I tell you I love you if...if I part of you still... hates me?”

Her words slammed in to him yet again.

In all his anger, in the feelings of betrayal, and in his moments of indignance during their arguments - even in his bitterness towards Coulson, or his fury at Ward - he never felt any of that as strongly as he felt about her.

“I could never hate you.”

He went to her.

“Jemma... I’m in love with you so much it hurts sometimes.”

Her tears fell again and she couldn’t stop herself from pulling him in to a hug.

He held her close for a few moments, stroking her hair, and he pulled back, taking her hands.

“Jemma, I love you. Do you love me?”

 

~~~

  


_Fitz swung their hands between them as they stood in line at the ice creamery and Jemma surveyed the menu._

_“What do you think you’re going to get?” she asked, continuing her perusal of the board on the wall._

_“Rocky Road.”_

_“Fitz.”_

_He always got rocky road._

_“Simmons. It's a classic for a reason. Chocolate. Marshmallow. Almonds. It has everything.”_

_“Would it kill you to try something new?”_

_“That’s what you’re here for, “ he smiled cheekily._

_“Oh is that so? I supposed I’ll get sorbet then.”_

_“Jemma. I know you don’t mean that.”_

_“Look, they have a lovely lemon raspberry - it sounds refreshing.”_

_“You’ll be sorry if all you have for dessert is frozen fruit juice.”_

_“That’s what you’re here for.”_

_“If you think you’re getting a single bite with nothing to offer in return but sorbet, you’re sorely mistaken.”_

_She feigned offense._

_“You would deny me a bite of your rocky road? Even if I asked politely?”_

_He looked down at her and his expression shifted._

_“Jemma...I’d do anything for you.”_

_Her torso tingled from the look on his face and she felt a rush of adrenaline to her chest cavity._

_She loved him._

_It had taken so long and too much heartache and pain to realize it, but in that moment, it was all she could think about._

_She loved him and he needed to know._

_“We’re up”_

_Fitz led them to the counter and ordered his scoop in a waffle cone as she refocused._

_“Simmons - what do you say?”_

 

~~~

 

He waited, his eyes on fire with his own burgeoning tears.

“Of course I do.”

He was silent, his chest heaving in their close proximity, his arms still around her.

“But you can’t say it...”

She looked at him with sorrow.

“...how are you...how do... you want to move in together, and make things official, and you can’t...”

He dropped his arms and stepped back, closing his eyes in distress.

“Of course I want to move in with you, I...” she reached for him and he did not respond, “...Fitz - I want to be with you...for the rest of our lives.”

If he weren't so upset, it would floor him. Her words were like torture.

“Then why can’t you say it Jemma?”

She sighed, wiping tears away.

“Fitz, please...”

Without another word, he left the room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone not familiar with Amy & Rory from Doctor Who
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65SUhr_L9DI


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz & Simmons toil over their feelings.

~~~

 

**_May 2015 - The Playground_ **

 

_She watched Fitz walk away with an ache in her rib cage._

_It had been days since their conversation in the locker room and he had said nothing about it since he had returned from the mission and the team had been swept up in recovering from the fall out._

_She knew this was the universe giving her a taste of her own medicine._

_Fitz was spending most of his time finalizing designs for their new mobile command and beginning work on an advanced robotic hand for Coulson, and she was focused on helping Bobbi & Coulson with their recovery, and cataloging the new monolith with Weaver & Mack. But every spare second that she wasn't working had her thinking about him. _

_She tried to maintain professionalism - and was beginning to come to terms with the idea that perhaps it was just too much. Too much to try and work through the murkiness of what something more might look like for them. Their relationship had been forever changed, that she knew. They had gotten back on some amount of solid ground, but she had shaken it up. Again._

_If he did care for her still, could she even ask him for more? After everything they had been through, the near death experiences, the fractures in their friendship - she couldn’t blame him for being reticent to start...something._

_Or perhaps he simply didn't have the same feelings that he had once confessed at the bottom of the ocean. He didn't feel that way any longer and he didn't know how to tell her._

_Things had changed drastically since then. Fitz wasn’t that same person anymore and neither was she. Whatever he felt for her then didn’t belong to her anymore. It belonged to person she used to be._

_She was a different person then. Stubborn. Determined. Unwilling to accept a solution to their predicament that left him for dead. But the minute she had let him give her the last breath she had changed. She didn’t want to. She didn’t mean to. She had cried and screamed and begged him not to do it. But there had to have been more she could have done. She had failed him then...and again during his recovery. She was a quitter. A coward. A deserter._

_She had argued with him weakly when he had said as much to her upon her return from Hydra but she knew he was right. She gave up on him and she had ruined any chance they had before it began when she had not been able to come to terms with her own feelings sooner. When she had abandoned him in the middle of his recovery._

_... and now it was too late._  


~~~

 

Jemma stood heavy in the middle of her room.

The rest of Fitz’s clothes were left piled next to her desk chair and she stared at them, sorrow pressing against her chest.

She wanted to go after him but she didn't know what she would say.

She loved him. Of course she loved him. He was part of her - her home - and she couldn't imagine her life without him. She loved him with a palpable anguish.

She wasn't bolstering when she told him she was afraid he was still angry with her, but she wanted to believe him when insisted he wasn’t. She wanted so badly to believe that he’d forgiven her betrayal and their arguments. She wanted to believe she could truly forgive herself.

She believed him when he told her he didn’t want her to be sad anymore. He didn’t want either of them to be angry or lost in their shared traumas. He wanted them to be happy together.

She believed him when he said he loved her.

She believed that they could build a life together despite all the things that they had been through and she believed that they were stronger together and could face whatever obstacles might come their way.

She believed that he loved her. She knew he loved her.

She knew he had been by her side since the moment they had met.

That was how he loved her and that was how she had lost him - by failing to do the same.

But they had come back together. After everything.

He had told her that he loved her.

He loved her with his words and his hands and his eyes and his mouth and his heart every day. For longer than either of them had ever realized.

She believed that he was in love with her and she knew she was in love with him.

She knew the science. She knew the zeitgeist. She knew how she felt when she looked at him and when she thought about his missing presence.

It wasn’t faith. It was fact.

She wrapped her arms around herself wishing they were his and sobbed quietly, nearly shaking with disastrous sadness.

She knew this wasn’t the end - they were stronger than that. They had survived worse.

She believed they could survive this but she didn’t see how.

How could she truly let herself believe she was worthy of him.

She believed in him.

She knew him.

She loved him.

She loved the man he had become and the boy she remembered and the partner she had always known him to be.

She loved his heart and his mind and his courage and his loyalty.

She knew that he was the smartest, sexiest, most handsome man she had ever met, and she loved him.

She wanted to spend the rest of her life loving him.

Jemma sighed painfully as she thought of them together in the years to come - in an apartment, a house, a cottage in Perthshire.

The picture made her think of all the things they could have together and she knew, as well as she knew him and her love for him, that she was the thing in their way.

She believed in her love for him.

She believed in herself.

She knew she couldn't let her fear of her own inadequacy get her way. Not now. Not with something this important.

Not with Fitz.

Fitz who loved her and showed her every day.

Fitz, who had put up with an elaborate cover-up just so that they could be together.

Fitz, who had kissed her under the stars.

Fitz, who’s name was her favorite word.

Her own statement to Daisy echoed in her head.

 

_“Believe me, when I’m in love, you’ll know”_

 

She loved him and he deserved to know.

 

~~~

 

_Fitz had no idea what to do._

_It had been days since they had returned from the Iliad and now that they knew Bobbi & Coulson were out of the woods, a whole new set of unknowns lay ahead of them. _

_Inhumans. Monoliths. Robotics. Hydra. Ward._

_...and maybe something more._

_He had been unable to say anything to Jemma about their unfinished conversation and every minute that went by felt like the opportunity slipping away from him._

_She had said she wanted to talk about it. What he said at the bottom of the ocean._

_Feelings that he had spent months trying to ignore._

_What did she want to talk about?_

_What did_ he _want to talk about?_

_Why couldn’t it be simple?_

_Why couldn’t they be like other normal people?_

_If they were other people it would be easy. He would ask her to dinner somewhere nice and hold her hand as they walked down the street and perhaps end the evening with a kiss._

_But they weren't normal people..._

 

~~~

 

Jemma took a deep breath and wiped at her face, squaring her shoulders as she slipped on something resembling shoes and made her way out the door. She came out of her room and looked around, deciding where she should go first, when -

“Simmons?”

“Daisy!”

“I’m glad you’re up, I want to-”

“Daisy I need your help.”

“Oh. Okay, I was going to - what are you wearing?”

Jemma was in a blouse half-buttoned over a camisole with her slippers on.

“You were right.”

“What - Simmons are you okay?”

Her face was quite evidently tear streaked, and Daisy reached out a hand to her shoulder.

“You were right. Fitz and I are together and I love him and I need your help.”

Jemma’s words were clipped and breathless like she was relaying the details for an important mission.

“Holy...what can I do?”

Daisy’s excitement barely registered as she took in the pained look on Jemma’s face.

Jemma looked around and then down at herself and back at Daisy.

“Just come with me”

She walked rapidly down the hall, urging against her own fear, and breathed deep. Her stomach tightened as she knocked on the door and for a moment she considered that Fitz might not answer...he may have gone somewhere else...or...

When he pulled open the door she could see that his eyes were red and his face was sullen as he came face to face with her.

“Jemma...” he breathed, looking at her sadly, “...Daisy!”

His postured changed immediately.

“Hi,” she waved nervously, looking between the two of them.

“What ...what are you doing here? Is, is everything okay? Is there an e - is something wrong?”

“I needed Daisy’s help,” Jemma said softly, her eyes pleading at her friend.

Daisy nodded, encouraging her. Jemma paused for a moment, and then spoke, her treble shaky.

“Daisy can you tell Fitz what you asked me the other day and what I said?”

“I asked you - um, I think, if there was something going on between you and Fitz...and you said you were friends.”

“That wasn’t entirely true,” Jemma told her, looking straight at Fitz, “We are more than friends. We are a couple....we are in a romantic relationship. We are in love.”

He stared at her, mouth still firm, as his eyes softened.

“Daisy do you remember what else I said?”

“Umm, that I, that it was none of my  business and that when you were in love I would know?”

“Well, it's your business now,” Jemma said, turning to Daisy, “I want you to know that Fitz & I are in a committed, loving, relationship and we’d like to move in together - and,” she turned back to face Fitz, “I am in love with him.”

Daisy nodded, her eyes wide and Jemma fixed herself in her spot, unwilling to yield to her own fear of failure.

Fitz’s shoulders dropped and he opened his mouth but nothing came out. Jemma realized the things she had planned to say were done with and she started to improvise.

“Daisy, can you...can you ask me, ask me when I first knew I was in love with Fitz?”

“Um - Jemma - when did you know you were in love with Fitz?”

“When he left the base to sneak out Coulson’s tool box.”

The words nearly surprised her as they came out.

“What?”

Fitz finally spoke and she looked at him with a small smile, then back to Daisy.

“I had switched the boxes and I put it in his bag with a sandwich and I wrote -”

“Love, Jemma” he finished.

She turned back to him.

“Some part of me knew, I think...that...”

“You did?”

His voice was small and she nodded, directing the rest of her sentence to him now.

“Then, after you came back - I’ve told you that...when I saw Hunter with Bobbi after she got hurt - I had to ...and I said maybe there was something more...and, Fitz...Fitz, all this time I-I-”

She couldn’t form her words as fast as her thoughts.

“Jemma...”

She took a breath, and, her eyes still fixed on him, she said,

“Fitz I've loved you for a long time. Longer than I could even... I want to tell the entire base that I love you. I want to tell Daisy and Hunter and Coulson and everyone here. I want to move in together and live together, and share a room with you. I want to tell you everyday that I love you. I want to tell you in the morning and in the evening and when we're in the lab and you say something brilliant or smile at me or...Fitz I want to tell you so often that you get sick of hearing it.”

He scooped her into his arms and his mouth was on hers immediately.

“Holy shit,” Daisy said.

He pulled back as soon as his body would let him, and Daisy laughed, holding back tears of her own.

“Jemma,” he exalted, “I love you.”

“I love you Fitz.”

She felt a weight lift from her body and she laughed nervously as she turned towards Daisy, still in Fitz’s embrace.

The two friends shared a smile and Daisy started to turn away before pausing.

“Do you want to - um - do you want to tell everyone yourselves or...?”

Jemma looked at Fitz as she answered,

“Tell whoever you want. Just make sure you tell them we’re in love.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz & Simmons find their happily ever after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter! Make note of the time jump and the new past and present settings.

**May 2016 - The Park**

 

“So tell me what kind of meteor shower this is again?” Fitz inquired as he laid out the blankets on the grass.

“Fitz.”

“No I mean it - it's been a year, you’ll have to remind me.”

She sighed as she set down their thermos and put a camping pillow against the tree.

“The Eta Aquarids meteor shower is an annual occurrence caused by the passing of the earth through the debris of Halley’s Comet and gets its name from the Aquarius constellation. It's most visible in the southern hemisphere, but we didn’t quite have time to jet down to South America did we?”

She took a seat and he made his spot next to her.

“Well if I’d known that we could have gone,” he said, lifting up his arm for her to lean in to his side, “The Zephyr could have gotten us there in record time.”

“While I don’t doubt that, I’d prefer to be here,” she said, looking up at him.

“Me too.”

He leaned down to kiss her softly, and as he pulled back, she moved her hand up around his neck and held him in place for a moment. She pressed her mouth against his firmly and sighed contentedly before easing her head down to his shoulder.

They settled in and he crossed one leg over the other at the knees as she did the same at the ankles. Fitz rubbed a thumb up and down her forearm and took in a deep breath.

She did the same, fighting the urge to close her eyes. Things had been busy at work with Daisy, Elena, Joey & Lincoln constantly in the field continuing to search for Inhumans and Bobbi, Mack, May & Hunter finding the last of the Hydra cells. Living off base had made it even more difficult to stay ahead of their work but it was worth it to have a place of their own.

 

~~~

 

_“I still don’t understand why you needed me to come with you.”_

_Jemma trudged up the stairs, clearly agitated, and Fitz searched for a response as he walked in front of her._

_“This place is um, it's not going to be on the market long, I um - I thought we should see it right away.”_

_“Alright then,” she placated, picking up her steps._

_Jemma could tell he was excited and she willed herself to change her attitude._

_She was apartment shopping with her boyfriend and they were going to find a lovely flat and make a home together and that was enough to get her out of her crankiness that she’d had to leave the lab earlier than she would have liked._

_“Is the owner meeting us?” she asked._

_“Um...yep. He gave me a key though.”_

_“What?”_

_“I, uh, met him, the other day, and - uh, here”_

_Fitz helper her up the last step as they stood in front of the door and she looked around the landing. Before she could say anything else he unlocked the door._

_“Here, come in and take a look.”_

_The minute she stepped through the door she took in a sharp breath._

_The building was older and immediately she could tell the hardwood floors had been refinished but they were original. The doors and frames needed some work, but the real eye-catcher was the breakfast nook under the bay windows next to the kitchen._

_“Fitz...” she breathed out, dropping her purse unceremoniously on the ground as she began roaming through the main room._

_“Look at the windows. The molding -”_

_“Could use some work, yeah, I know - and we’d want to replace the front door, it's old and not very well insulated. The kitchen appliances could use upgrade too but the floors-”_

_“Are beautiful, yes, and look at this fireplace!”_

_Jemma was still in the main living area and she ran her hand over the mantle._

_“Yeah - it's up to code, I checked, and it's wood burning. Not that I’d mind putting in an electrical insert.”_

_“No - think how lovely it would be to have a log fire in the winter.”_

_She reached out and touched his forearm lovingly and he smiled._

_“Do you want to see the bathroom? It has double vanity sinks.”_

_Her face lit up and they went towards the bedroom with en suite bath._

_“There’s two bedrooms - I thought we could use the other one as an office - there’s only this one bathroom though.”_

_“It’s perfect.”_

_She ran her hand along the counter top and looked at the bathtub._

_“Do you think that tub’s big enough for both of us?” she asked with with a flirtatious grin._

_“If it's not we’ll have to get another one.”_

_She stepped close to him and put a hand to his chest as she kissed him sweet & slow. He reacted favorably, moving his hand around her lower back and pulling her in. _

_“You're certainly sold on this place aren’t you?” she asked as their lips parted, “ - by the way, when did you come to see it without me? And why didn't you just tell me about it? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad, because it's wonderful and -”_

_“Because I bought it.”_

_“What?”_

_Jemma froze._

_“I bought the apartment.”_

_“What do you mean bought?”_

_“The other day - I said I had a meeting with a consultant. I lied.”_

_“Fitz.”_ _  
_

_Her eyes were wide._

_“I’m sorry - it just - it happened very fast, and I saw this place and I knew you would - I hoped you would - do you like it?”_

_She stepped out of his arms, dazed, and in to the bedroom. She looked around at the bare room, back down to the hardwood, and then out the doorway and turned back to him._

_“You bought it?”_

_Fitz cringed a little as he smiled._

_“You bought us a house?”_

_“Is that okay?”_

_“You...you bought us a house.”_

_He nodded._

_“Fitz,” she smiled, “you bought us a home.”_

_“Yeah?” he questioned her expression._

_“Yes.”_

_She stood there smiling, looking around, and beamed back at him._

_“We have a house.”_

_“Well technically it's a townhouse, but-”_

_He was cut off by her arms around his neck and her mouth connecting with his._

 

~~~

 

Jemma laid her head on his shoulder, blinking awake and sighed. Fitz placed his head on hers and kissed her temple, moving his arm from around her and down to hold her hand.

“Don't let me fall asleep,” she said, fighting a yawn.

He smiled to himself and asked,

“Which constellations are out tonight?”

She smiled, and looked up into the sky.

“Well, Virgo should be out...” she found it and stopped to look, “it was my favorite as a girl.”

“For your birthday?” he asked, knowing the answer.

“Well - Persephone...Fitz you don’t really want to hear this again.”

“Sure I do.”

She began the story of Persephone, not noticing as Fitz reached into his pocket, and shared of her childhood fascination with mythical goddess, who she had been enthralled to discover was not the typical sanctified representation of her astrological sign, but rather, as Jemma’s book of mythology had described her, a _“_ _formidable, venerable majestic princess of the underworld_ ”.

Fitz watched her as she talked, falling in love with her all over again as he remembered the first time she had told him the story when he had come across said book in her room at the academy.

His hand in his pocket twitched as he started to become nervous and he knew himself well enough to know that if he didn’t start soon, he was liable to lose his nerve.

Her voice brought him back to attention.

“ - Leo is out tonight too of course - we really did pick the perfect night didn’t we?”

She looked up at the Leonid shape in the sky and as she turned back to him with a smile as bright as the starts he cleared his throat.

“Jemma.”

She looked at him with a soft curiosity and he feared his words would fail him suddenly.

“Jemma,” he began again.

She felt the anxiety coming off of him and reached her hands for his. Fitz looked down, holding her ring finger in between his and squeezed his eyes shut before he looked back up.

“Jemma - a year ago, we sat under this tree and talked about our future - about what we wanted to be to each other.”

The tone in his voice and the slight stiffness of his delivery told her he had been practicing and her heart started to quicken. Her eyes moved like radar across his physique and she stopped at his fidgeting hand in his jacket pocket.

“Fitz,” she gasped.

“Jemma,” he continued, pushing out the words, “that night - neither of us knew quite what this would...be - or what we were doing...but even then, you knew we’d back here, together, and...it...it took us a while to figure some things out, but, one thing I’ve known since the day I met you is that I would never in my life find anyone as beautiful, smart, t-t-tenacious, and thoughtful - and kind - as you are.”

Her breath was shallow as she tried to stay focused on his words, and her world seemed to slow down as he lifted his hand out of his pocket.

“ - and...” he continued, letting her hand go as he pulled out a delicate filigree ring from a small cloth, “Jemma, you make me feel like the luckiest man in the world every day, and, if you’ll have me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

“Fitz...”

She was breathless as she looked down at the ring, the endorphins cracking through her creating a slight tunnel vision. She looked up at his face, anxious and anticipating, and she fought back tears as she brought her hands to his cheeks. She kissed him immediately, her smile radiating through both of them, and before she could continue he muffled against her lips,

“Is that a yes then?”

“Yez, Fitz, yes” she exclaimed breathlessly, kissing him again.

He kissed her back lovingly and then pulled away to focus on their hands between them. Jemma watched with a neverendug smile as he placed the ring on her finger and when he was done she wrapped his shaking hand in hers and kissed him again.

“It's perfect,” she told him.

Fitz let out a satisfied breath and looked at her, his gaze vulnerable and hopeful and awed.She couldn’t have dropped her grin if she wanted to and she kissed him again. They stood there, lost for words and she finally began to come to her senses.

“The ring is beautiful Fitz, thank you.”

She suspected it was his grandmothers...they hadn’t talked about it specifically, but his mum had made enough hints over the years that whenever he met the right girl, she wanted it to go to good use.

“It's been wrapped up in my toiletries bag forever, it got especially difficult to hide it after we moved in together...” he commented, admiring her finger.

“After we...Fitz how long have you had this?”

He looked at her sheepishly.

“...about a month after we started dating.”

Her hand flew up to her mouth and she felt the cool metal of the ring against her lips.

“Fitz...” she whispered through happy tears.

“I didn’t - I knew that it wasn’t - I wasn’t planning to ask then but I...I knew that...you’re...I knew someday...I would...I would be able to - ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.”

“Fitz,” she spoke softly again, her hand cupping his face, “nothing would make me happier.”

He smiled - a bright, clear, grin that radiated through his shining eyes - and he stared at her as he covered her hand with his, pulling it out to admire it. He leaned down and kissed it endearingly, and she felt every ounce of his affection for her. She leaned in to him again and he embraced her, holding her tight as the joy of their engagement drifted through him, kissing her through their matching grins.

“Fitz,” she started again, “I want to tell everyone right away.”

~~~

 

_Jemma couldn’t wipe the smile from her face as they walked down the hall hand in hand. There were butterflies in her stomach, but she couldn’t have pinpointed what from. They past by a couple of agents on their way toward the common room and one did a slight double take before continuing on his way._

_They walked by Agent Davis who stopped and presented a clipboard to Fitz. Fitz reached out to grab it with his free hand and Jemma smiled as Davis’ gaze moved to their cupped hands._

_“Mission report?” Fitz asked, feigning comfort as his heart pounded._

_“Yep.”_

_To his credit, Davis’ smirk was barely perceptible to the human eye as he looked back to Fitz, and Jemma looked over at the report in Fitz’s hand for something to do._

_“Alright,” Fitz finished, handing it back._

_“Alright then.”_

_The other agent grinned as he walked away and Fitz did the same, squeezing Jemma’s hand as they rounded the corner in to the common room._

_Daisy was at the counter with Bobbi, and Mack was on the couch reading something on his tablet. Jemma took in a deep breath through her nose and Fitz shifted his hand, interlocking his fingers with hers before he cleared his throat._

_Everyone looked up, and he couldn’t help but clock Bobbi & Daisy’s immediate grins. Mack did a small double take before he put down his work and looked up at them with a knowing smile. _

_“So, I supposed Daisy’s told you?”_

_“Told us what?” Bobbi smiled._

_“That Fitz & I are together,” Jemma said, her voice practiced and clear, “- romantically.” _

_“We’re in a romantic relationship,” Fitz stated._

_Jemma looked at him as she added,_ _“We’re in love.”_

_“Well Congratula-” Mack started to stand and was interrupted from the doorway._

_“I KNEW IT!”_

_Hunter hurried in to the room and began doing circles as he spoke._

_“Fitz, you absolute beauty! Look at you. Look at you two. In love. I knew it.”_

_He stood in front of them, eyes bouncing between their faces and their hands, and he looked around the room at the others._

_“This is it, isn’t it? This is the day! The day that will live in infamy I tell you. Beers - who’s getting the beers? Bob?”_

_She laughed and shook her head with affection._

_“You two...” Hunter continued, “after everything, I - I just...you two crazy kids...I love you two so bloody much.”_

_He plowed forward, wrapping them both in to a crushing hug and Mack boomed out a joyous laugh._

_Fitz was starting to flush with some mild embarrassment as Jemma squeezed his hand before letting go so she could hug Hunter back. He slipped out of the embrace as Mack patted him on the back and put a hand on Jemma’s shoulder as they both looked between him and Hunter with smiles._

_Bobbi & Daisy came down to meet them all as Simmons & Hunter pulled apart and Daisy informed him, _

_“Don’t get too excited - you owe me $50. I saw them kiss.”_

 

~~~

 

“Where’s Hunter?” Daisy asked, peeking in to the common room where most of the team was gathered. Jemma had sent a cryptic message asking them all to meet in the common room.

“In the shower,” Bobbi answered, plopping down next to Mack & Lincoln on the couch.

“Does anybody know what this is about?” Coulson asked.

Daisy shook her head.

“I hope everything is okay - weren’t the supposed to be going out for their anniversary today?” Elena added.

“They're here,” May announced, walking in, with the two scientists on her heels.

They all watched the duo expectantly for half a beat before Daisy clocked the luminescent smile on Jemma’s face immediately and leaped up.

“YOU GOT ENGAGED!”

She rushed to Jemma, and took her hand.

“Turbo!” Mack exclaimed, standing up and leaning over Daisy to see the ring.

Bobbi, Elena & Joey followed suit as Coulson went to Fitz, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Congratulations,” he said warmly.

“Thank you sir.”

Coulson held there for a moment, his eyes shining, and Lincoln joined,

“Engaged, wow, congrats you two,”

As Fitz put out his hand for a shake, he was struck as a body barreled into him, wrapping their arms around him in a squeeze that nearly knocked him on to the ground.

“Hunter!” Bobbi admonished

“Fitz!” Jemma worried

“You did it mate,” Hunter mumbled against Fitz’s head as he held him tight.

Fitz stilled for a minute before going lax in to Hunter’s embrace, and he patted him awkwardly but affectionately on the back.

“Thanks,”

“Did you know?” Bobbi asked.

“That my best mate was gonna propose? Of course I did.”

Hunter slapped Fitz on the back before he pulled away and looked his pal up & down.

“Look at you - engaged. You look older I think.”

He turned to Jemma and opened his arms for an embrace,

“Congratulations love.”

“Thank you Hunter,” she smiled.

Rounds of hugs and congratulations, and drinks ensued as an impromptu engagement party broke out. May made her way over to the couple as the humble celebration went on, and stole a moment to appreciate the ring. As she stepped away, Jemma continued to admire it.

“You really do have exquisite taste in wedding rings,” she said wistfully.

“It was my nan’s on my mum’s side.”

“I thought it might be...you’ve really had it this whole time?”

He nodded.

“What did your mum say when you asked for it?”

“That it was about damn time.”

~~~

 

_“Fitz...can I come in?”_

_They were stood outside his room still, Jemma in his arms, and he was likely to stand there for the rest of the afternoon basking in the glow of her declaration._

_“Oh. Of course.”_

_He let them in to his room and as soon as the door was closed she took his hands._

_“Fitz, I love you. With all of my heart.”_

_“Jemma...”_

_“I’m so sorry I couldn't say it sooner. I was worried that I...I was worried that I didn’t - that I didn’t deserve you, that I...that I had ruined things too badly...but I know you love me, and, I know I love you, and...Fitz, you’ve been nothing but incredible this entire time and...well, it's like you’ve said. I want to be happy - together.”_

_He reached out and placed his hand on her neck, curving under her chin, his fingers behind her ear and looked at her, searching her face._

_“Jemma - you are my whole world. I love you in a way I never thought I could... I never dreamed that we would - I...I was worried about the same thing. Some part of me has always been worried I wouldn’t be - that I didn’t deserve you. That I wasn’t enough for you.”_

_“You are...you are more than enough. You are my... Fitz you are everything to me. You have been for ten years. It took me too long to realize what that really meant but I - I knew for a long time you would always be a part of my life and now you are my life.”_

_He pulled her mouth slowly to his and kissed her gently - long and lingering, and her hands came cup to his face, kissing his lips, his cheek, his forehead._

_“I love you Fitz. I love you so much and it hasn’t always been exactly like this but I need you to know that I’ve loved you for so long. Since the academy - and even if it wasn't romantic then it matters to me because you are Fitz, my Fitz, and I love you. I love you now and it just took some time maybe to understand how that love had grown deeper - and I know it always will.”_

_“Jemma...”_

_Words failed him and she pulled him for a kiss then held his face as she looked at him lovingly with some seriousness in her eyes._

_“Jemma,” he tried again, “I can’t imagine my life without you.”_

_Her hands fell to his chest and she tilted her chin to look him directly in the eye._

_“I feel the same way.”_

_He pulled her into another embrace, one hand over her upper back and the other holding her head. She curved her hands down to wrap around the middle of his back and she leaned in to his shoulder._ _They stood there as love and warmth and caring affection embraced them, and Jemma said quietly,_

_“We have to promise to talk to each other about - when we - when either of us feels unsure, or inadequate, or guilty...and I think, after...” she pulled her face back to look at him, “...after we tell the rest of the team - whoever Daisy hasn’t gotten to,” she smiled, “I’d like to talk about maybe seeing Doctor Garner about it - together.”_

_He nodded, and she squeezed her arms around him again, holding him close, and kissing under his jaw._

_“I love you._

_The warmth of her words melted over him and he rubbed her back as he held her._

_“I love you Jemma,” he kissed against the top of her head._

_They stood there, embracing each other, and eventually Fitz, spoke softly in her ear._

_“Jemma. I love you.”_

_She cooed and pulled back to look at him._

_“I love you too.”_

_He looked at her, taking her hands from his neck and holding them between the two of them._

_“Can I ask you something?”_

_“Of course.”_

_He hesitated, slightly nervous._

_“Can we get lunch? I’m bloody starving.”_

 

_~~~_

 

It was late when they returned to their apartment, Jemma’s cheeks rosy from elation & champagne, and Fitz kicked off his shoes immediately as they walked in the door.

“You don’t supposed Coulson would give us the morning off tomorrow as an early wedding present, do you?” he asked, beginning to undo his watch & his cuffs.

She smiled, heading toward the bedroom.

“I think you were right last year, that might be the only morning off we see for a long time - until the honeymoon.”

She started to undress as she she pictured it - white sand beaches, crystal blue water, sun and salted air.

Fitz came up behind her, finding the clasp of her necklace, and kissed the back of her neck as he asked,

“Where would you like to go?”

“Mmm, somewhere warm and quiet - an island, maybe the Seychelles.”

She turned around and kissed him as he put her necklace in the bowl on their dresser.

“That sounds romantic, fiancee”

She smiled, beginning to undo his buttons, and kissed him again.

“I can be very romantic, fiance”

“Oh really?”

“Mmmhmmm,”

She untucked his shirt from his pants and he helped her get her own blouse unbuttoned

“In fact,” she added, her hands on his belt, “I can think of some things we could do together on that island that would be very romantic.”

He reached down to her zipper as he swept his lips across hers,

“Is that so, fiancee?”

“It is indeed, my future husband.”

Fitz closed his eyes as the words sunk in and Jemma undid his slacks, then pulled off her shirt.

“Get your trousers off and I’ll show you."

 

~~~

_“So,” Fitz asked, as they walked out of their meeting with Coulson, “your place or mine?”_

_She blushed slightly as she smiled and took his hand._

_“Let’s go back to your room - we’ll have to gather some data and decide if we like it better.”_

_He grinned as he squeezed her hand and they smiled silently as they headed to their wing._

_“Oh, I don’t have anything to sleep in,” Jemma realized as they made their way in to his bunk._

_“Jemma, when have you ever hesitated to borrow something of mine?”_

_She smiled and began to settle in as he tidied up. She sighed as she stretched, taking mental note of the room, and as she went to undo her shirt, she stopped._

_“Hey,” Jemma said softly._

_Fitz turned from where he’d been tossing some clothes from his bed to his hamper, and registered her state of undress._

_“Would you like to help me?”_

_His face lit up softly as he took her in, and he went to her immediately, his hands on her hips._

_She undid the final button on her blouse and he ran his hands up her sides and over her shoulders, pushing it off. As her top fluttered to the floor he reached down to kiss her decollete and Jemma ran her hands down his back of his over shirt._

_"This too my love," she encouraged gently._

_Her affectionate tone waved through him, and he leaned forward to kiss her as he undid the button down. She started to undo her jeans and slipped them down as he did the same, removing his trousers then his shirt until they were both in their underthings._

_Fitz pulled at the strap of her tank top and bra, kissing at her shoulder as he brought it down her arm._

_"I love you," he murmured against her skin._

_Jemma's eyes fluttered closed as his adoration washed through her and she brought her hands up the back of his t-shirt as she pulled him towards her. They both pushed at each others clothing, eventually assisting one another with the removal and he eyed her appreciatively, enamored as ever. Jemma reached for his pants, pulling the boxer briefs down as she kissed him, and he stepped out of them as she slipped out of her own, until they were each bare.  Jemma rested in the moment, taking him in, and as she looked back up at Fitz, his gaze romantic, she smiled with wonder._

_"Come here,"_

_He stepped forward and she melted immediately in to his arms._

_"I want to make love to you."_

_He pressed his forehead against hers, brushing his nose against her cheek and pressed their bodies together in a silent response.  They'd been together many times, each of them wonderful, but there were no barriers now, nothing unsaid between them. It was blissful._

_Fitz brought his mouth to hers slowly, kissing her with all the gentle affection he showed her each day, and Jemma began to stroke his arms, sliding her tongue in to his mouth passionately._

_His hands moved, soft and supple, up her back and down her sides, and as he began to rock against her Jemma sighed, her palms against his bum, and she brought them back against the wall, encouraging the languid motion. She pulled him against her center, kissing Fitz intensely as he landed one hand against the wall and one on the desk._

_"God, Jemma, I love you so much," he panted, sliding against her._

_She hooked her hip up around his waist and reached between them, pulling him in to her slowly as she deepened their kiss._

_Fitz groaned quietly, and her leg fell open, resting on the side of desk, as she slid one hand over his shoulder and the other down his backside.  They continued kissing as he started to rock in and out of her slowly and Jemma assisted his motions, encouraging his measured pace. She rolled her hips, gradually beginning a counter rhythm, and he moved back and forth as he ran a hand down her body._

_She moaned her pleasure in to his mouth and he palmed her breast, firm and gentle as he continued his motions, his tongue moving lazily against hers.  They continued their motions, smooth and comforting, and as Fitz started to deepen his thrusts, Jemma gasped, tightening around him._

_"Fitz, oh Fitz," she breathed, her hand on his neck._

_He opened his eyes for a moment, and they locked their gaze as he pushed himself in to her, his hand moving to her thigh as he anchored his palm around her hip.  They were quiet as he continued, Jemma pulling his chest against hers by his shoulder, and she started to keen, her eyes falling closed as she met his quickening pace._

_"Yes, oh yes, Fitz, yes."_

_His mouth rested against hers as he intensified his thrusts, and Jemma clenched as he stroked against her wall.  He moaned, pressing unfocused kisses to her mouth as he felt the pressure build and she brought both hands to his bottom, pushing him up in to her as she rocked down on him._

_"Oh Fitz," she called again as he slid in and out of her fervently._

_"Jemma..." he vocalized, picking up pace._

_"Yes, yes..."_

_He brought both his hands under her as he quickened, thrusting fast and deep, and she started to crest as he hit her center repeatedly._

_"Yes, yes, yes, Fitz, yes," she repeated as he ravished her._

_"Jemma, Jemma, Jemma," he echoed, his voice tight as his release mounted._

_She felt a wave of pleasure and emotion wash over her, and as tears percolated, she pulled him in to her, calling his name._

_"Fitz I love you, I love you, I love you," she recited through panting breaths._

_"Oh god," he groaned as his orgasm shot through him._

_Fitz fell against her as he thrusted firmly through his climax, and Jemma came with a shudder, gasping for air, as the e cstasy  and elation coursed through her.  She sighed with release, holding him against her as they came down, and she nearly laughed and cried as the emotive hormones waved through her body._

_Fitz kissed her shoulder, resting against her as he looked up. His eyes glistened in tandem with hers and they smiled at each other gently with amorous affinity._

_~~~_

 

They relaxed in to their bed, pleasurably exhausted, and Jemma took up her place on Fitz's side, spooning against his ribs, her leg wrapped over his.

"That was lovely my fiancee," she told him, kissing his chest as he breathed heavy.

"Honeymoon worthy?" he inquired, kissing her head.

"Absolutely," she smiled, looking up at him.

Fitz looked down at her with a sleepy grin and she leaned up to kiss him quickly.

"What do you think about Perthshire for the wedding?" Jemma asked as she settled in.

"That's in Scotland."

"I know where it is Fitz."

"Why Perthshire?"

"We went there when I was a girl, on holiday once - it always seemed so lovely, there was this cottage and I always," her volume lowered, "I always thought of it as a place where you and I could..."

She looked up at him again and Fitz was gazing at her like she'd told him the secrets of the universe.

"Sounds perfect." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone's who's followed and encouraged this fic. It means so much!


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